It was then she realized this had to be a joke, a bad joke from destiny, but nevertheless, a joke.

“Pero, por Dios, ¿cómo puede ser? ¿Y cuándo pasó esto? Y yo sin enterarme?”

FB can be a nasty reminder sometimes of those she let drift away, and also of those who thankfully were not in her life any more.

“¡De la que me salve! Pero menos mal que me enteré ahora y no hace unos años. Menos mal que no lo acepté cuando me mandó el Friend Request aquella vez. ¡Me hubiese caído malísimo! Por algo fue que le di a ignorar y no volví a pensar en eso, en él, hasta ahora.”

This wasn’t about the one that got away, this was about the life she could have had if she had made different choices, if she had decided to stay and not walk away. This was about being now in a different stage of life, because of the choices made eight years ago. This was about imagining a parallel universe, in which life would have developed based on a decision to stay, to continue, to endure, to stick it out. What would that have looked like? Where would she be now?

“¿Te imaginas? ¡Cinco chamos! ¡Ni de vaina! Y ni pensar que no hubiera terminado las cosas que he hecho, ni experimentado todo lo que he vivido. La cantidad de personas que nisiquiera hubiese conocido. Increíble todo lo que puede cambiar con una sola decisión. ¡Inimaginable!”

But there it was, the possibility of what could have been. The what if in photographs, photographs with other people, places, and babies, tons of babies.

“Y yo que ni siquiera sé si quiero tener un bebé, ¿te imaginas cinco? ¿Y varones todos? No, ¡esto es insólito! Dios sabe por qué hace las cosas, esa vida no era para mí. Y él, ¿qué me dices de él? Yo no hubiese soportado su bipolaridad, los arrances de locura, la impulsividad, y quien quita si no, la agresividad, porque ese ser estaba a un paso de domestic violence.”

So she continues to sip her chai latte and thinks to herself, “thank God!”, and clicks ignore, once again. FB was not going to drag her down that rabbit hole. This was not going to be more than a blip in this glorious fall morning, filled with possibilities. That was then, this is now, and as they say “Más sabe el diablo por viejo, que por diablo”, because “El tiempo de Dios es perfecto” and there’s nothing she can do to alter that, thank God!


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