Unmotivated and over-thinking

This unmotivated state stinks. It really stinks, I tell ‘ya. I’ve been cranky, and moody, and over-thinking everything. And if you know me, you know, boy can I over think! Over-thinking is not a good thing; it’s one of my “I can do this so well” attributes I would not willingly move to the “these are my strengths” list, at least not anytime soon. And yet I do it, I over-thinking, especially when I’m trying to figure out not only why am I so unmotivated and in this funk, but more importantly, how do I get out of it.

I’ve thought about possible things, job related activities, I could be doing, activities that would be more motivating, more lucrative. I’m trying to figure out what is my passion, what moves my core, what would I rather be doing if not this. It’s not coming easily to me. Hence, the over-thinking.

The good part of the over-thinking about how to make more money and be more motivated, is that it’s fueling my May goal of scarcity. This weekend I went for a walk down my neighborhood, it was beautiful, it was sunny and warm, and in my search to get out of my funk I strolled, iPod in toll with musical favorites, and just strolled with no particular end in mind. It reminded me of my strolls in New York… man how I miss NYC.

Anyway, as I strolled along I went into a few places I can rarely step out of without purchasing anything: Nine West, Anthropology, and a little local accessories shop. I went in, I saw, I tried on, and I left empty handed. Not because there weren’t things I would have liked to buy, but because I’m not shopping in May and that is that. I can still window-shop though, and that I did, but as I search for ways to make/have more money, not spending seems like the logical way to be, don’t you think? Yeah, I do too.

So, yep, I’m still unmotivated, and yep I still have not found a way out of this predicament I’m in. But I’m pushing through it, and thinking as I move forward, or in circles, but moving. I’m hoping for a brilliant idea, let’s see. If you any, please, this is no time to be bashful.


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