I call synchronicity, and let me just explain why. I was just thinking yesterday and most of this week actually, that I need more passion in my life, in my relationships, in my work, just in my overall day to day. I want the butterflies, the excitement, the can’t wait to do this, or get there, or see this person.
I feel like I’m in this content place. If you ask me how I am, I’ll say fine, good, everything is alright. And, do not get me wrong, that is a good place to be in. But a part of me can’t help but think “is this it?” and consequently, want more.
And then, and here is where the synchronicity comes to play, I bumped into this post about being unremarkable, and I just had to smile. Because this content, easy going, calm, peaceful state in which I am in, is what people long for when they are in the midst of craziness and all hell breaking lose, and I just take it for granted, I feel like it’s just ok, and I’m left wanting more. How dare I? How, really? How dare I?
The same thing happens when I think about having kids. I don’t know if I will ever have kids, but I do know I think about it, and that thinking leads to decision making. Lately, I’ve been thinking of all the things I’ll need to give up, how my life will change (see content place above), and the comfy-me says, “heck, I don’t really want to give all this up, I might not need a kid after all”, and even though it sounds selfish, and I don’t think I would say that out loud (although, I guess I just did), I’m convincing myself of the negatives of having kids to steer myself in the opposite direction. And then I bump into this post about being a girl’s mom, and I want to kick myself in the shin.
Synchronicity I tell you, synchronicity. It saves me. Every. Single. Time. Thank God I’m not impulsive and I wait and give synchronicity the time it needs to set me straight. Thank God for that!