Synchronicity

I call synchronicity, and let me just explain why. I was just thinking yesterday and most of this week actually, that I need more passion in my life, in my relationships, in my work, just in my overall day to day. I want the butterflies, the excitement, the can’t wait to do this, or get there, or see this person.

I feel like I’m in this content place. If you ask me how I am, I’ll say fine, good, everything is alright. And, do not get me wrong, that is a good place to be in. But a part of me can’t help but think “is this it?” and consequently, want more.

And then, and here is where the synchronicity comes to play, I bumped into this post about being unremarkable, and I just had to smile. Because this content, easy going, calm, peaceful state in which I am in, is what people long for when they are in the midst of craziness and all hell breaking lose, and I just take it for granted, I feel like it’s just ok, and I’m left wanting more. How dare I? How, really? How dare I?

The same thing happens when I think about having kids. I don’t know if I will ever have kids, but I do know I think about it, and that thinking leads to decision making. Lately, I’ve been thinking of all the things I’ll need to give up, how my life will change (see content place above), and the comfy-me says, “heck, I don’t really want to give all this up, I might not need a kid after all”, and even though it sounds selfish, and I don’t think I would say that out loud (although, I guess I just did), I’m convincing myself of the negatives of having kids to steer myself in the opposite direction. And then I bump into this post about being a girl’s mom, and I want to kick myself in the shin.

Synchronicity I tell you, synchronicity. It saves me. Every. Single. Time. Thank God I’m not impulsive and I wait and give synchronicity the time it needs to set me straight. Thank God for that!

3 responses to “Synchronicity

  1. Amiga! The one thing I will tell you is that YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL! It’s your life and your decisions, you always have options! Do not let someone else decide for you and if you really want to be a mother DO NOT give up that FOR ANYONE! You will regret it and resent him for it, we are women and it’s built in us and if you have it in you to have a child, it will never go away! Nothing fills your soul like a son/daughter if you want a child. Children is not for everyone but seems it is for you so my dear DO NOT settle because you are comfortable and safe if he is not willing to give you the things you dream of having. I might be all wrong here about what’s going on but I read your blog and sometimes I feel like picking up the phone and calling, because I’ve been there one too many times! I’m going to be in Chicago at the end of the month, we should get together!

    • Corazon, gracias por escribirme 🙂 But let me explain. I think I must have mislead you somehow, because my struggles with the question “do I want to have a kid or not?” have nothing really to do with Mike. Mike is up for having kids, if/when the time is right. We, as a couple, are not there yet, but when the time comes I know that if I really want a kid, he’ll go for it, and if I decided I don’t, he’ll be ok with that too. What I am constantly debating is if I really want to have a child so badly, am I willing to make all the sacrifices and the changes to my life as it is right now? I kinda like where I am, the freedom I have, and the fact that the decisions I make are not superposed by someone elses’ needs I need to meet. A kid will take over, this I know, so I’m just pondering it all, and some days I’m all for it, and others not so much. It’s easy for me to see the negatives of having a child, so when I come across a post about how being a mother has changed someone’s life for the better, I smile and remember the positives and change my mind all over again 🙂
      If you feel like picking up the phone, go for it! I would love to chat. And of course, we should get together next time you are in Chicago. Absolutely!

      • I’m glad that is all within you! A child will change your life for the better but God knows there are sacrifices and that every decision you make from there on is based on the wants and needs of that little one! Me as a single mom live it on a daily basis and gosh is it hard! But I don’t regret having Sophia EVER! Not trying to sell the point, lol! Just saying how I feel about it… I guess me as a woman now feels complete! And whenever I am having a bad day and she comes to me and tells me how much she loves me everything feels alright 🙂

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