Change…

Have you ever noticed how one incident can completely change the course of your life? You are living and enjoying your life, merely, minding your own business, maybe even being very thankful and appreciative of all the good you presently  have, and suddenly, out of nowhere, completely unexpectedly, comes flying in this thing, this little or big thing, and wham, just like that everything changes.

I’ve been thinking about that lately. But I had been focusing on the big, bad things, like cancer, car crashes, accidents, and the sort, that suddenly happen, when you least expect them to, and change everything. Of course, there are also positive good things, that come along and wham, change our lives too. But for some reason I’ve been thinking about the not so great, big things.

And then over the weekend I started thinking of the little, bad things. Things, oh you know, like job interviews, moves, secrets you find out, random phone calls out of the blue, or texts messages, that come swooping in and suas! change your status quo.

I’m happy, I like my life right now, the people around me, the places I go, the activities I choose to do, and even those I just have to do. I like it all, I like it all as it is. But this weekend I realized, once again,that nothing stays the same. Everything changes, and when it’s all good, it can only change for the not so good, right? Because things can’t get better when they’re already are as good as they can get.

This term has been great student-wise. Last term was a bit of a pain in the butt, because I had three or four students in one class whom I didn’t really like. Well, to be fair I think they didn’t like me either, or the course, or the content, or the schedule, or the program, or… whatever it was they didn’t like, in any case they took it out on me, and frankly I tend to not like people who are rude to me. I was glad when the term was over. And even gladder, because this term has been great. I love my current students. I would maybe change some particular attitudes, but in general, I really like them. Yet… I have access already to my roster for next term, and in one of my classes I will have one of the students I really didn’t like last term, and I am already dreading having to see her twice a week for 11 weeks.

I ask myself, why? Why does she have to take this course with me? Why again? Why now when I was feeling great about my students and liking my classes so much? Why do I have to go back there? Why couldn’t she have signed up for the hybrid course, so that way I would only see here once a week for 6 weeks. Why?

Well, because things change, and there is no way around that. If things are bad, we always have the solace they will improve eventually. If things are good, then we need to brace ourselves because they can’t remain great forever, they too will change. So my great student spree will change, I guess it was bound to change, and now I see it, it’s coming, like when the light at the end of the tunnel is actually a freight train coming at you at full speed! She’s coming back and I’m not liking it, not one bit.

Also, on the topic of little things that can change your life, I had a conversation with Mike this weekend about an event that can potentially change us very much. I’m not going to get into it here, because he doesn’t even like me writing this blog in the first place, but I am going to say, it made me stop and think about the cow, and how this started to feel like it might just be a cow.

Remember the cow? The one that (figuratively) lands on your head, or rather mine, when I least expect it? Remember? No? Well, that’s what I call these unexpected events (little or small), that come barging into my life and alter and change everything, just when I thought everything was going great. Yep, it’s like a cow falls out of the sky and lands right on top your head, and squishes you flat! Splat! Just like that.

Well, this event can potentially do that, and I felt sad, because, even though it hasn’t happened yet, it could, and if it does the status quo as we know it will change, and that change will not necessarily be a positive one. The end of us ran past my thoughts, and in a matter of seconds I felt as how I would feel if my present suddenly disappeared from it’s current state and turned into the consequences of that event.It was sad, and I didn’t like it.

So needless to say, between the awful student and the potential of an unwanted change in my relationship with Mike, I woke up a bit down this morning… because it kinda sucks when things change when they were finally all going great. Am I right? So, I’m left asking myself: Why do things have to change? Why can’t we reach a certain state of blissfulness and just stay there forever. Why?

4 responses to “Change…

  1. Because what we want changes and if it doesn’t match up with what others want then it’s time to change. Change can be really exciting too!

  2. “Why do things have to change? Why can’t we reach a certain state of blissfulness and just stay there forever.”

    My question EXACTLY.

    But I guess, without the downs, we wouldn’t really appreciate the ups. It’s just that sometimes the downs just really, really suck. 😦

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