Max and I were supposed to head out to Mike’s last weekend, but we didn’t. Mike’s nephews were to spend the night at his place on Friday and I really didn’t want to sleep in the guest room. I get the whole wanting to protect children from seeing unmarried couples sharing a bed, but the imposition of it didn’t sit well with me, so I decided it was better to stay home and let him enjoy his nephews on his own. I have my own bed to sleep in and actually like it very much, so why be uncomfortable?
The plan was to head out sometime Saturday, maybe after yoga and lunch, and meet up with him after the boys had been picked up. But then on Friday morning there was this episode with an email, and a photo and a very inappropriate message, which lead to an uncomfortable conversation about checking emails, lying and deceit, which lead to hurt and anger, and not really wanting to talk to Mike, let alone go over to spend the weekend. So we didn’t go.
The weekend was beautiful weather-wise. The sun was out, the temperature was warmer than the previous week, and people seemed happy and smiley. That’s what sun does to us in areas of cold winter weather, and it is always appreciated. I went to yoga, did laundry, cleaned up my place a bit and took a marvelous bubble bath I hadn’t had time for in ages. I watched TV, I graded papers, and realized all the things I neglect to do because my weekends are now filled (usually fun-filled) with Mike and the things we do together.
I was annoyed (mad and sad) about the whole falling out, but I did enjoy my me time, and realized I kind of miss it. I curled up in bed with Max and watched TV and took naps. It’s different when it’s just me and him, it’s quieter, it’s calmer, there are no random bites (did I tell you he bit me the other day? I forgot? Ok, story to come in the next Max post) and it just feels nice. I missed that, and I think Max did too.
Sunday was Mary’s baby shower. Mary is Scott’s wife, and Scott is Mike’s brother. So even though I hadn’t spoken to Mike since Friday (really don’t know why he hadn’t called to try sort things out, given he was the one who messed up) I went to the shower. I had RSVP, I had bought my gift, and really none of them had anything to do with what had happened, so why not go?
It felt a little uncomfortable at times though. I was asked what we had done Saturday night: Oh, I stayed in the city this weekend (nothing, or at least nothing together). They wanted to know what Mike was up to while I was there: Probably watching football (like I know, I haven’t talked to him in two days, your guess is as good as mine). And just generally asked about us: We’re good, fine (I’m not sure there is an us any more, but why get into it, let’s just have another mimosa).
I called Mike before heading over to the baby shower. I wanted us to meet after it so we could talk, and we did. We talked and figured things out, at least the beginnings of it. We talked more on the phone that night and I think we’re still digesting the whole thing. What does it all mean now? Can trust be regained? I guess time will tell. I care about him and I want this to work, but it’s not really up to me, so I guess we’ll see what happens next, and we’ll see if us holds through this with time.