I’ve been feeling a little off lately. Emotionally, that is. Mike and I broke up last weekend, and it’s been a sad week for me. Missing him has opened up the melancholy I feel when I think about NY, so it’s broken heart meets homesickness, which is not a pretty state to be in.

I was listening to music on my walk today and a couple songs rang true. There’s something about music, that just stirs up emotions in me. I can’t really control it, but certain songs reveal happiness, sadness, invigoration, and melancholy for me, as easily and profoundly, as if I was living the actual experience. Maybe that’s why I love music so, it makes me feel.

“And I see losing love
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you’re blown apart
Everybody feels the wind blow” Graceland – Paul Simon

“And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another airplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home”  Home – Michale Buble

There will be better days, but for now, I just wish I had my life back. You know, the one in which I was happy every day, whenever that was.


8 responses to “Sad

  1. I’m sorry to hear about your broken heart. =( I think we’re allowed to mourn losses, so long as we don’t miss out on opportunity when it presents itself. It’s summertime in Chicago and you will have plenty of opportunity with boys, socializing and life.

    • You’re so right. I’m trying hard to not be sad, but it creeps in now and then, it’s still too new. But yes, summer is here, and I plan to enjoy it! 🙂

  2. Sorry to hear that you broke up. 😦
    That’s never easy and it’s totally normal to mourn.

    • Thanks. Everyone around me is so concern with having me feel ok and good, they brush it aside, which in turn, doesn’t really let me process what I’m feeling. I’m sad, and it’s ok to be sad right now. Thanks.

  3. Oh, so sorry that you broke up. Was it a mutual decision? (Doesn’t sound like it).

    • You know, it kind of was mutual. I realize now I wasn’t ready for it to end though, I think
      I could have raised my concerns differently and tried to work it out. But I didn’t. Live and learn, right?

  4. Oh Jen! I just read this. Listen my friend, if there is something that I have learned out of my last break up is that it is ok to mourn, but that doesn’t mean you need to be sad all the time. What it also doesn’t mean is that you have to be open for opportunities and that having fun doesn’t always need to involve boys. I am happy doing the thing I love all by myself and it took me 7 months to actually open up mentally and welcome the idea of dating and still I am not even positive I am ready.

    It’s time to focus on you and when ever ur having one of those bad days, which you will have, just remember it’s ok and turn the focus even more on you, do something fun that ur passionate about and love yourself! It gets better 🙂

    • There are definitely sad days and then better ones. Last Monday was just a bad day because I felt overwhelmed by everything, but come Wednesday I was as happy as can be. I even thought it was weird. I think there’s something going on besides all the “issues”. We’ll see, I’m looking into it. I don’t remember ever being this touchy-feeling or easy to cry in my life!

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