Need to rest

The sleeping like a baby days have been over for me since quite some years now, maybe even a decade. I used to sleep like a rock, anywhere, under any circumstance. Now? Not so much.

I wake up tired, with neck pain and stiffness, sometimes even headaches. I accumulate stress in my upper back and neck areas, so it doesn’t surprise me when it hurts, yet I always go to sleep with the hope that once I wake up it will all be restored to its natural, no pain state. That’s really not the case lately.

I think it’s mainly due to the fact that I dream a lot every night. My dreams are intense, vivid, filled with details and strong emotions, sometimes even nightmareish, and too much to handle. Those times I just wake up, who wants to spend their beauty rest time suffering? Not me!

The other day for example, I dreamt that my sister had died. I was shocked, you can imagine. But then the one who had died was my mom and not my sister, and not only that, but now my sister, who was quite alive, had hooked up with my significant other. What the!? I woke up and every muscle of my face was tense, my body was stiff and I needed to take some time to slowly get out of that state to be able to get up, out of bed. In the dream I was crying inconsolably. I tried to scream, but nothing came out, I was making all the right efforts to get the emotion out, but for some reason I couldn’t, I couldn’t yell. The heartbroken emotion stayed with me for about an hour, when I finally snapped out of it, repeating to myself “it was just a dream”.

Last night I dreamt I was teaching a class to an auditorium filled with people. There were students everywhere I looked, to the sides, in front, and even behind me. Something had gone wrong, maybe the technology aspect was not cooperating, the students started leaving, the room was emptying out, I was stressed, I needed to do something, so I started talking, no props, no slides, just me talking to them and interacting with them. They stayed. They responded, but at some point someone said “You say uhm a lot!”, as in I use it as a muletilla (how do you say this in English?) I was taken aback by the rudeness, but smiled and said “Yeah, I kinda do, don’t I?” and continued with the lecture.

I woke up thinking I dream with students a LOT. This particular dream was a new one, maybe something I have on my mind with this new job. I’ve been either a student or a teacher all my life, so it’s not rare that I dream with schools, students, classrooms, and the sort. But being criticized in public, in an auditorium, was not part of the dream repertoire, at least not until last night.

All of this is to say, lately, I am more tired than not. I think the whole stomach thing might also be a reflection of the tiredness. It might also have to do with not eating as healthy as I should (not that I’ve ever been much of a healthy eater to begin with) and snaking between meals. But I so wish I could rest more when I sleep. A nice, rosy, happy ending kind of dream wouldn’t hurt either. I used to try and program my dreams, setting a tone and an intention right before I went to sleep. Sometimes it worked, but it was more of a hit or miss kind of deal.

Do you rest at night? What do you do to control your dreams and make sure you wake up rested in the morning? Share will ‘ya? I could use the tips.


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