I liked that

“So, what is a girl like you doing on match? I mean, I was sitting across from you during brunch thinking, you’re pretty, your smart, you’re articulate… You’re a catch! I’m a lucky guy, just to be here with you. Why haven’t you been married? What is someone like you doing on match?! How is it someone hasn’t snatched you and married you already?”

I’ve been asked these same questions many times. By guys whom I’ve never seen again, and by guys I have developed relationships with. Why haven’t I gotten married? That’s simple, I haven’t found the right guy yet. Why am I doing online dating? Because it’s an easy way to meet guys and as I spend most of my time online, I might as well meet people that way. Why hasn’t someone snatched me? I’m not really snatchable, I am very picky and will not easily venture into a lifetime commitment (as I view marriage) with just anyone who wants to snatch me.

But there was something about the way he asked these questions that I really liked. I mean, yes, who doesn’t like a compliment? Who doesn’t want to be told someone else thinks you’re pretty and smart? Who doesn’t want to know the other person appreciates your qualities? But the compliment aspect wasn’t what I liked. What I truly liked was his openness to vulnerability. His willingness to open up, put it out there and expose his thoughts about me, without knowing if it would backfire or not. I thought that was brave. I liked that.

And this hasn’t been the first time he’s done this. He seems pretty open about what he’s thinking and feeling and isn’t scared to share it, not as a compliment for a compliment’s sake, or to get on my good side, but genuinely, even if it means he’ll be put in a disadvantage. There is no game playing, there is honesty. I liked that too.

We’ve spent hours on the phone this week, have talked every day, about everything and nothing really. Brunch today was sweet, felt good and was easy, flowing. Second date is next Saturday, for dinner. It’s promising people. It feels good. I have a feeling a third date is more than a possibility here. But keep your fingers crossed, just in case 😉

10 responses to “I liked that

  1. It’s funny, I typically hate that “Why are you single?” question. But it is, of course, a compliment, and every girl likes compliments. I remember one guy asked me once, “Why is a hot broad like you single? You a pain in the ass?” Talk about a backhanded compliment.

    I’m glad you guys clicked. He seems sweet. And BIG thumbs up for no game playing 🙂

    • Yeah, I tend to find that question annoying too, but I’ve grown to understand why people ask it. It’s they’re way of telling you they think you’re totally lovable and don’t get why you are not at the moment. Although I have to say, the pain in the ass comment was a complete foot in the mouth one, poor chap.
      Yeah, I’m glad too. I’ve learned not to count chickens before they hatch so we will see, but so far, he is quite sweet and definitely not a player 🙂

  2. >Sounds promising!! Good luck. I know it can wear you down, but I know it will all be worth it eventually!

  3. >Thanks! It truly can get to me with time. Why does finding the love of my life have to be so darn hard? You'd think after all these years I'd at least have dating down. Not so much. But thank you for the encouragement 🙂

  4. I met Sweets on match.com. Just saying… =)

  5. >Good for you Jen, I'll find you on the other blog now then, huh?And by the way, I refuse to take pictures of myself in the mornings, it's ugly!!

  6. >The Sarjent – Thanks! 🙂 Please do. I would love to continue hearing from you. And… I'm sure you look lovely in the mornings 😉

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