“So, what is a girl like you doing on match? I mean, I was sitting across from you during brunch thinking, you’re pretty, your smart, you’re articulate… You’re a catch! I’m a lucky guy, just to be here with you. Why haven’t you been married? What is someone like you doing on match?! How is it someone hasn’t snatched you and married you already?”
I’ve been asked these same questions many times. By guys whom I’ve never seen again, and by guys I have developed relationships with. Why haven’t I gotten married? That’s simple, I haven’t found the right guy yet. Why am I doing online dating? Because it’s an easy way to meet guys and as I spend most of my time online, I might as well meet people that way. Why hasn’t someone snatched me? I’m not really snatchable, I am very picky and will not easily venture into a lifetime commitment (as I view marriage) with just anyone who wants to snatch me.
But there was something about the way he asked these questions that I really liked. I mean, yes, who doesn’t like a compliment? Who doesn’t want to be told someone else thinks you’re pretty and smart? Who doesn’t want to know the other person appreciates your qualities? But the compliment aspect wasn’t what I liked. What I truly liked was his openness to vulnerability. His willingness to open up, put it out there and expose his thoughts about me, without knowing if it would backfire or not. I thought that was brave. I liked that.
And this hasn’t been the first time he’s done this. He seems pretty open about what he’s thinking and feeling and isn’t scared to share it, not as a compliment for a compliment’s sake, or to get on my good side, but genuinely, even if it means he’ll be put in a disadvantage. There is no game playing, there is honesty. I liked that too.
We’ve spent hours on the phone this week, have talked every day, about everything and nothing really. Brunch today was sweet, felt good and was easy, flowing. Second date is next Saturday, for dinner. It’s promising people. It feels good. I have a feeling a third date is more than a possibility here. But keep your fingers crossed, just in case 😉