I was afraid of going back to NYC again so soon. The last time I was there I was sad for most of it, and then when I came back I was really, really sad. The homesickness I’d been feeling exacerbated to it’s nnf degree and I felt terrible. That’s when the whole PMS and Venus retrograde added themselves to the mix, and I had a few horribly sad days. The timing of course, was not the best at all, because I was wrapping up the quarter and had a ton of work to do and not feeling it at all. But life goes on, Venus goes back to is forward motion, PMS goes away, and eventually the sadness is controlled and subsides and I can go back to my usual happy self.
Off I went to NYC, a little hesitant, not knowing how I’d feel while there, and how badly it would hit me once I came back. It didn’t hit me. Like, not at all, not one bit. I enjoyed the stay immensely, sadness was no where to be seen. It was a wonderful trip and I can honestly say I am for the better now because of it. How’s that for a positive balance?
Some favorite pics of the week there. Central Park, my happy place in NYC:
And then off we went to Hudson, NY, to stay at a friend’s place for Thanksgiving. It was just what the doctor ordered. Tons of people food, drinks and fun. It was a wonderful 5 days.
I spent one more day in Manhattan, in which I meet with my friend Rachel for lunch, and went to High Line park and dinner with Jason. Yes, you read that correctly. I saw Jason and it was awesome. I was very ambivalent about this, I certainly did not want to feed any potential sadness and didn’t actually know if it was a good idea to see him again, but I did, and it went as positively as it could.
I was truly happy to see Jason. We got to catch up, talk and talk some more, and spend time together as friends. He says he thinks we can’t be true friends because there’s still that attraction lingering there. I believe I could, but then as in any relationship, you need two for it to work, so I’ll just let it go. But, did you catch that? I am so over it, I can be friends! We shared stories about people we have been seeing and actually talked about being intimate with other people after we broke up, and I felt nothing. Not one ounce of hurt, jealousy, or longing. Nothing. After we said goodbye, standing on the subway platform waiting for my train, I said to myself “I think I am now truly over this. I’m ready to move on. I’m cured.” It was miraculous. That was last Monday and the feeling of accomplishment, happiness and pride in myself has not left me yet. I’m still smiling about it. I did it. I’m cured!
So there you have it. This week in NY proved to be exactly what I needed to realize that yes, parts of the past where great, yes, I miss NYC and it’s people, but I don’t need to be there any more. I don’t need to go back. I can take the good, ditch the bad, and move forward. I’m going to be just fine and the homesickness can keep itself in check. I’m really happy to be where I am right now, physically, emotionally and mentally.