Are you married?

Why is it that every time I’m not dating anyone someone asks me if I’m married? Just like that, in a random conversation, they will ask, “are you married?” Of course, every time I say no, but wonder why don’t they ask me that when I have a boyfriend so that I can say I’m not married, but that doesn’t mean I’m alone or looking, because I do actually have someone. Now why is that? Can they read it on my face? Are they just trying to help?

Well, apparently the lady I met at the nail salon today, was out to do just that, and I appreciated it from her, because she was as sweet as can be. We got to talking while we were both drying our nails, and as fate would have it she was from West Ireland and I am flying to Ireland tomorrow. How lucky is that? She was thrilled, and more than willing to give me advice and point out some spots I should not miss. She insisted I go out of Dublin to the countryside and stay at a B&B at least for a night. She said I needed to be aware of my belongings because they pick pocket and snatch purses, but generally people are nice, friendly and willing to buy you a beer everywhere you go. And then, just like that, “are you married?”

I thought she was asking to see if I was traveling with someone, so I volunteered “no, I’m not and I’m go on my own, so I need to be at my chattiest and talk to a lot of people to make friends and have people suggest places to go.” She immediate said “and maybe you’ll meet an Irish lad, stranger things have happened. They’re ok, you know, they like their drinks and they can be loud, but they are good people.”

I smiled, and I think that was an indication of “this poor girl is in urgent need of men-advice, I just know it” because she followed with “You know, with men you just have to be smart, the trick is to yes them all the way. No matter what they say or do, you just yes them all the way, and then they’ll give you anything you want. Plus they’ll let you be and do your own thing. My mum told me this years ago, but did I believe her? No. I believe her now.” And she continued “And don’t go to a guy with your problems, they don’t want to hear them. They don’t go about talking about their problems with their lads, so they don’t want to hear yours either. That’s what your girlfriends are for. You share your problems with your girlfriends and then every thing is easy going at home.”

I smiled because I have heard this before and as much as pride gets in the way of being too accommodating, I have learned that yessing it gets you a long way. The kicker came when she said “and get a rich man. I’m not talking millionaire or anything like that, but a guy with money is better and not because of the money, but because a guy with money is happier because he is successful. A guy who is struggling, still trying to make it, is up and down emotionally, you don’t want that. My mum used to say you can attract a rich man just as easily as you can a poor one, and it’s true.They are all out there you just have to know which one to choose.”

I had to smile again because just last night I was hearing from a guy friend how financial stability was what he was aiming for and he felt he was on the right path, and once he got there he would be happy. Of course, I asked if he was not happy now, because I thought it would be sort of sad to put happiness on hold until a better future permitted it and not just be happy now. But he said he was content and as long as he felt at peace and knew he was doing what he needed to keep himself on the path to attain what he wanted, he was happy.

So I agreed with her and thanked her for the advice, and she blessed me and told me to ask God to protect me in my travels. I said I sure would.

I’m starting to think that this Ireland trip is more synchronistic than I ever gave it credit for. I wonder what else is going to happen, who else am I going to meet and which advice will they give me. I guess we’ll see. I’ll bring back stories and pictures. Lots of pictures. Promise.

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6 responses to “Are you married?

  1. I can comment again! For a while I couldn’t.. have a nice trip!

    • Hey, how have you been?! Yes, I made my original blog private, but then opened this new version under a nickname so that people can’t find it by googling my name. Welcome back and thanks, I am looking forward to the trip quite a lot! 🙂

  2. I love all these connections. I can't wait to see what happens while you're there.

  3. Bueno Jen voy a darte mi opinión desde mi humilde experiencia acerca de los tips que te da la señora irlandesa en relación a los hombres, porque no estoy 100% de acuerdo con ella… pero OJO, yo no soy el oráculo y tampoco creo que ella lo sea……con respecto a no decirle tus problemas a tu pareja en parte tiene razón porque no es bueno cargar a tu pareja con problemas y crear una atmosfera negativa en casa, sin embargo ambos deben estar concientes de las preocupaciones y problemas del otro…yo creo que es mejor en tener una actitud positiva frente a los problemas y preocupaciones, más que ocultar cosas al otro… además así cada uno transmite seguridad y capacidad para solventar dificultades…a lo mejor lo que la señora propone en este post funciona bien cuando estás en la primera fase de "dating", pero y luego que?, sale todo a flote?…no se……y con respecto al mito del "hombre rico", también estoy de acuerdo en parte…si bien es cierto que es mejor estar con una persona satisfecha profesional y financieramente, ya que como bien ella dice, está más feliz, tiene mejor autoestima y transmite positivimo, yo creo que debe haber un equilibrio entre ese aspecto y lo que sientes por la persona, no creo que escoger a tu pareja fijándote en el bolsillo solamente sea muy sano que se diga…Espero que lo estés pasando chévere en Irlanda!Besos!

  4. Oh Kate, I have stories for you! 😉

  5. Silvia – Si, yo estoy de acuerdo contigo. Ademas todas las relaciones son diferentes porque las personas somos diferentes, incluso, en mi experiencia, una misma relacion, con la misma persona, cambia porque la gente cmabia y la dinamica se modifica. No hay como garantizar nada, a la final hay que lanzarse y ya, con el favor de Dios todo saldra bien 😉

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