Cheating and Lying

Do you remember when last week I said C had reappeared? Do you remember when I said he was all reminiscing and wanting to pick up just where we had left off? Well, he kept on doing it for a few days after the initial contact. I entertained him, without getting too involved, and reminding him now and then that I wanted nothing to do with him in that “intimate” way any more. He kept insisting though, and it seemed like suddenly we were right back where we were in the summer of 2007.

Until Wednesday, when out of the blue he asked me for a number to call, he needed to talk to me and apparently it was urgent. Urgent? What could he need to tell me that was so urgent now? When I wanted to talk to him back then, it was kind of urgent for me, because I really needed to understand what was going on, and he was no where to be found, no response, nothing. That was in September of 2007. Now, suddenly, after emailing and flirting non stop he needs to talk to me urgently, why?

Well, hold on to your hats because this is about to get interesting. We emailed back and forth, he called, left a message, I emailed with the best time to call again and we finally talked. He was nervous, he spoke fast, he seemed uncomfortable, and anxious. I didn’t really know what to expect. He said he had realized he hadn’t really updated me with what was happening in his life and he thought he should bring me up to speed. And then he proceeded to do so.

“I am married, can you believe? Yes, yes, I got married two and a half years ago.” Now, let this sink for a minute, as I did as shock grew stronger, and put yourself in my position, just for a minute. Not only had he spent the previous week flirting with me, reminiscing about the old days, how good it was and all the things we did together BEING currently married, but he got married 2.5 years ago. Two and half years ago is December of 2007.

Lets review the timetable, shall we? In August of 2007, after years of online flirting, NYC encounters, dates, and visits, he finally got me to agree to a formal relationship with him. Now, I’ve never been engaged or married, so don’t quote me on this one, but doesn’t one have a relationship with someone, proposes, gets engaged for at least a few months, if not a year, and then gets married? I tend to believe we don’t go randomly picking a stranger off the streets and marrying them the following day, right? So, if he had been having this long distance relationship with me since 2005, convinced me to finally agree to being together in August 2007 and then finally disappear at the end of September 2007, to then get married in December 2007 (or so, I don’t know the exact date), wouldn’t you say there was some overlap there? Especially when he told me the woman he married was an American woman he met while living in Dubai. He lived in Dubai while I was still in Venezuela in 2004.

Now, in my state of shock with the news, rapidly trying to put dates in order, and have what he had done sink in, I couldn’t say much to him. Especially, after he continued to update me and said “Oh, and she is now 7 months pregnant, we are having a baby, he is due in August.” The only coherent thing I managed to say, in my utter shock, was “my god C you are an asshole. You lack all sorts of character and integrity. I can’t believe this.” And I said it truly, more out of disbelief than anger, I was so shocked I couldn’t really think straight.

The two timing, conniving, cheating, lying, bastard! Now, for one second, put yourself in his wife’s position. While she was engaged to this loser, he was propositioning me and convincing me to get into a relationship with him. He came to NY and “dated” me while she had a ring on her finger and was picking flowers, dresses, and caterers. And now, while she is 7 months pregnant, he tries to rekindle whatever it was we had then, by sending me dozens of emails a day and links to sexy outfits he thinks I should wear to indulge his fantasies. Now, what do we call a guy like that?

I was in such a shock really I didn’t say much to him. He said it was ok, I could send him the “bomb” email the following day. How kind of him. I was outraged. I wanted this whole thing to end right then and there, I wanted it to not have even started to begin with, I wanted to delete him from my life. I didn’t send any bomb or any other kind of email. I just talked to my friends and told the story to as many people as I could think of while the shock, amazement, anger, disillusion, sadness was all still very fresh and present. And now, after a week, I am here sharing it with you.

He had the balls to tell me that she, of course, knows nothing about me. Besides having been his roommate back in the day, she knows nothing else. And now he’s worried that because I am online so much, I will write about him and she will find out. He’s covering his ass. Well, I’m not about to catch myself any bad karma by hunting her down and telling her what a bastard she married, that’s for sure. But as my sister said, you think I will be the only one? I doubt it. This will happen again, that poor woman has it coming sooner or later… she will eventually find out. I will have nothing to do with it though. That I can assure.

I really just want this to be over, and actually it is. If there was any doubt in my mind, any lingering unfinished business with him, there is no more. This chapter is over. We can throw out the book actually. I truly wish I could just delete him, have the whole thing never happen and fill that time in my life with something else, something better. But live and learn, I guess.

My friends have said “How did we not see this? How did we not have a clue?” And the thing is, my whole relationship with him was long distance, I had no clue what was happening with his life when he wasn’t emailing me, how could I know? Sixth sense you say? Instinct? Yeah, I had a very strong feeling something was off. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I went back and looked at my tarot journal and saw I had asked a few times if there was another woman in the picture. I definitely had my suspicions. A friend of mine, a guy friend, once, after hearing my most recent stories with him, asked “Could he be married?” I thought about it, but I dismissed it. I guess I didn’t want to see it, I didn’t have proof, and every time I asked him about another woman, he said there wasn’t anyone, “the hours I work, where would I find the time?” I should have, and will from now on, trust my gut more, because if there is something I can take away from this nasty story is that when I sense a guy is lying or not being completely honest with me, guess what? He’s not. And there’s no way around it.

So there you have it. C? Lying, cheating, bastard, who deserves no extra thought given to him. But I am not worried, no sirree. Karma is a bitch, and whatever he did, has done, and will do, WILL come back to him and hurt him in ways he just can’t foresee. Lies have a tendency of resurfacing. Life has a way of making us pay for what we’ve done. That’s just the way it is. And me? I’ll just take what I’ve learned from this and not look back, not even to make sure karma has come knocking on his door. He is dead to me. This story is over.

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4 responses to “Cheating and Lying

  1. Guys like that have control issues. He had to tell you all this stuff about his life because he felt like he was losing control of the situation. And instead of being a loser, he had to take the reigns. Ugly and disgusting. And you’re right, karma will find him and she won’t be very nice when she does.

    • Yeah, I think a part of him wanted to tell me, but had been avoiding it all these years because he knew I would be furious and guys can be cowards when it comes to facing an angry/hurt woman. I’m just glad it’s over and also glad I found out when I had no more feelings for him, I think it would have been devastating to find this out back when I was into him.

  2. OMG…. what a bastard…!!!

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