Today is the two month mark of the breakup, and as I thought would happen (based on previous experiences it would take two months) I’m starting to feel as if I am finally over this. I still think about him now and then, I sometimes wish he were with me, but I can quickly dismiss it and even think this is for the best and believe it. I’m accepting it’s just me now and that’s ok.
My chest doesn’t hurt any more, or at least it hasn’t hurt “that” way recently. And days can go by without me thinking about him or going “there”. I truly think I am letting go.
I’m not saying the longing won’t come back and bite me one unexpected day, or that I won’t be comparing him to other guys I meet and interact with. But I don’t have the sadness clouding my judgment and I can honestly say now I don’t want him back. I understand that what we had was meant to be just that and that we will be happier with other people better suited for each of us.
I am ok without him. I will continue to be ok without him. And the days I’m really in tuned with my life and what’s going on in it, I’m really happy and look forward to what the future will bring knowing it will be great, because I will make it great.
I’m in this zen mode, which has helped a lot. I meditate and set the tone for the day and am happily surprised when things just go smoothly and turn out exactly how I intended them to be. I’ve discovered it’s all in my attitude and as long as I am fully present in everything I do and enjoy it, truly be in it and experience it, I’m happy.
I am letting go and it feels like an accomplishment. Something to be happy about.