Well, I did it again. I left the weekend unplanned and had a ton of alone time left to think, which was not good. This weekend was the one month mark of the breakup and with it the sadness returned. It caught me by surprise because this past week I felt the best I had in weeks, I was truly happy and feeling great at times. I thought everyday would be a bit better, so this step-back was completely unexpected. I guess it’s just part of the process. I can’t be happy all the time, that, I know. And apparently, I will take steps back as I move forward, I just need to accept that. I’m better today, so I guess no harm done.
I’ve been thinking of things to blog. I seem to have a few posts building up in my head which have nothing to do with Jason or the breakup. You’re thinking “Thank God!”, aren’t you? Me too! I just haven’t had the time to sit and organize my ideas to share them here. For some reason I feel unsure of what I want to share. I made the blog private, for one, to be able to be more open again. I have been going back and looking at old posts from years back and I still have the feeling I was more in-tuned then, maybe more in touch with me and thus freer in my writing. I don’t want to pressure myself, I have enough on my plate emotionally right now to make matters more stressful, but I do want to write, get my writing mojo back and share some stuff roaming in my head. For now they’re just thoughts… cooking thoughts which will be ready, hopefully soon.