I went searching for my 2008 resolutions to see how I had fared in 2009, and you know what? I had completely forgotten all about them. Not that I didn’t accomplish some headway, but I had truly forgotten what I had set out to do. These were my resolutions:
1- Get rid of my negative, critical, judgmental thoughts toward others. Lately these random, seemly uncontrolled thoughts come more frequently than I would care to admit. They have to go.
2- Be careful of what I say and how I say it. Words can have irreversible impacts on others and I sometimes seem to shoot from the hip without giving it a second glance. People deserve better, I can do better.
3- Be more spontaneous and go with the flow. Let life guide me, instead of me trying to drive life. Trust the divine plan.
4- To be more generous (or giving) with my time, knowledge and kindness.
I’m happy to report that 1 has been vanished. I don’t have those negative thoughts about others any more. Sure I can still make a critical comment now and then, but I’m much better at not being connected with the negative stream of thoughts as I was back then when I wrote number 1.
Along those lines, because I think I disconnected myself to the negative stream, I’ve been more caring with my words. I do think about what I’ll say before I say it, but somehow it doesn’t feel like I’m walking on eggshells or anything like that. It seems to be more so that I’m back to my nice self once again. So 2 was accomplished to some extent as well.
3 did not get such great results. I knew this was a hard one for me, and to be honest, I think all four of them are long-life projects and not something I can accomplish in one year and then forget about them. But 3 is definitely a hard one. I like to be in control, I like to decide what I will do and how I will do it. I like to plan and follow the plan until I see results. That’s just me, it’s in my nature. So letting go and letting God, is hard in more ways than one. I have been trying though. Trying to not think too much, trying to just go with it, trying to enjoy the now, the here, the present. This will surely continue, not only next year, but for years to come.
Number 4 is something I still need to work on. For some reason I, more often than not, feel I have nothing to give or whatever it is I can give is irrelevant or won’t make much of a difference, so I don’t. This is wrong. I know it’s wrong on both accounts. I have tons to give and whatever I can give will make an impact on the receiving end, no matter how small. I know this in theory, but in practice? Not so much. I need to keep at it though. I need to try harder, to give more, to not think about it and just give. Once I do that frequently, I hope, it will become second nature.
So there it is, about 50-50 progress/still pending. I think I’ll just carry on 3 and 4 into 2010 and make then part of my 2009 resolutions. As for wishes, I haven’t quite gotten around to those yet. The 21st of December is the day we usually do that, because the Christmas spirit apparently dawns that day. So it is a day to make lots of wishes and dream big. I’ll think about it and get back to you with that list. In the mean time, you can start thinking about yours and we can meet back here then 😉