Because life is anything but perfect

So a few weeks ago this went on.

I got an email from c@gmail.com titled Still want to throw me off a bridge..? with the following content:

…. or rather: would you care to talk again (even if you will throw me off a bridge when you can)?

C.

I read it and thought, really? But of course my thinking didn’t stop there. I started thinking of all the possible responses as my mood changed from un-bothered, to really pissed-off. I weighed my options.

I could respond nothing at all. Disregard the email and carry on.

I could write “Piss off!” and leave it at that.

I could write the first thought that came into my mind once I read it “A one liner, really? That’s the best you can do after all this time?”

I could write “Sure, I’m willing to talk, as long as you are ready to apologize, say you’re very sorry for your poor decision making skills and admit what a jackass you were to me, and for the life of you promise to never ever do anything of the sort to any other women out there. If so, then yes, I’ll listen. And when I say listen, really that’s what I will do, because there’s nothing really I want to say to you, it’s not like we’re friends anymore.”

Or I could respond all of the above. Copy and paste this in an email and let you choose whatever response you want, because ultimately, it doesn’t matter anymore.

So, I went with all of the above.


Quoting c@gmail.com:

Hi,

Thank you for this – understood and no problem.

C.


Quoting jm@gmail.com:

I feel bad about this now. Because as rotten as you might have been to me, that doesn’t entitle me to be mean to you or anyone else for that matter. So if there is something you need or want to say, sure, I’m willing to talk.

Jen


Quoting c@gmail.com:

Hi, I did not have a specific topic to talk about, it was more a general thought. However, the purpose is of course not to (re-)stir up your anger, hence probably a bad idea – sorry about that.

C.


Quoting jm@gmail.com:

Hi, yeah, I figured you just wanted to touch base and to be frank that’s what truly gets me upset. How can we possibly be friends now? Especially since you never have apologized for what you did. You see, I can let this go and to some extent I have, but I can’t conceive you not realizing what you did and feeling bad about it. That just doesn’t compute in my mind. If I behave badly with someone, which I’ve been known to do on occasion, it tends to bug me and I eventually make amends, I don’t pretend it’s the other persons fault and carry on as if nothing and then pretend we can still be friends because with time this person will forget about what I did. I understand you and I are different, I just can’t understand how you would think I could just forget and chit-chat as if nothing happened.

Jen


And then …. crickets …. Has he responded to you? Because, I got nothing.

Why, you ask? Why did he do it? Why now? Because he can. Remember Clinton? Yeah.

5 responses to “Because life is anything but perfect

  1. OMG this is so typical. I have an ex who pulls this shit with me too and it sends me into a flurry of emotions I would rather not deal with. I'd be, like you, not sure how to proceed and wanting to be a nice person because I AM a nice person. But sometimes, after someone has been a monumental jackass and has never owned up to their shit, it's time to just let it die. It's hard for me to not respond because I want to be understood and I don't want to hurt people's feelings but you have to think about you first, you know?

  2. Sizzle – Yep, I know. Sometimes it's just better to let it go than to try and fix it. But sometimes, you just have to say what you need to say, even if there's no response on the other end.

  3. Oh Jen, this has happened to me before too. I'm actually surprised that he responded to your first mail when you were already saying 'no I don't want to hear from you, or be friends'. I think you said it all in your mail, and he figures there's nothing left to say (which their isn't), and hopefully also realises that if he treats someone like that, it's not ok. At least you know he thinks about you, and obv does care a little what he did.Sounds like the sort of guy who will do it again because he just doesn't know how else to act.Shame for him.

  4. The Sarjent – Yeah, I agree, there's not much more to say, than a sincere apology, which doesn't look like it will happen any time soon. "At least you know he thinks about you, and obv does care a little what he did." You know, this is no consolation to me, he could think of me or not and it would all be the same, and about him caring about what he did, I think he still thinks he did nothing too wrong, at least not for me to react this way. At the end of the day, in his mind, it's all on me somehow. The surprise is though, at the end it is and will always be on him.

  5. yes, it will. Wise words 🙂

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