On 92nd and 2nd

This happened just right now on my way home, walking from the bus stop to my building.

“Hey, who are you calling?”

“No one.” [I was looking at my phone, but actually reading twitter and not talking to anyone…Look Sizz I’m doing it again!]

“How are we going to get married if you’re already being unfaithful with other men?”

[Laughing out loud] “Well, I’m not actually talking to anyone, just reading.”

“So, what do you do? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I do research.”

“Well, you could research me.”

“Yeah, I guess I could.”

“Or are you not interested in men?”

[Looking him over] “No, I am interested in men.”

[He smiles] “So why don’t you plug my number in there so that we can get to know each other more intimately.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so. I’ll pass on the intimacy thing.”

“Why? Are you married?”

“No”

“So then?”

“I am in a relationship.”

“But you hesitated there, are you sure you’re in a relationship? I don’t know, you had to think about it a bit, how long have you been in this relationship?”

“Mmmm, about 5 years now.”

“See? You’re thinking about it, are you sure you don’t want to get out of it?”

“Umm, yeah, no, I don’t want to get out of it.”

“Why don’t you give me a break, I need to catch my breath here.”

“If you need to catch your breath after walking a couple blocks, you must need to exercise more.”

“Oh, come on, throw me something, I’m a construction worker, smarts are not my thing. I really need to catch my breath.”

“Then you definitely need to exercise more.”

“So maybe I’ll see you around, I work on this site.”

“Well, you probably will, because I live on this street.” [approaching my building]

“So what does he do?”

“He’s in finance.”

“Well, the market is not doing so well now.”

“Yeah, he’s not too happy about that.” [signaling I had reached my destination and was walking in]

“Nice meeting you.”

“Have a good night.”

[He blows me a kiss, I walk into my building and smile bye. Mind you this whole conversation occured without me stopping once, I continued walking while he chatted nonstop]

Tip: When you’re going to lie about being in a relationship, which is the easiest and nicest way I’ve found to let someone down without making it about them, focus on a person who you have dated and answer all questions thinking of them. This way you won’t have to make up a person on the spot and everything you say will be believable, since it actually once was true and some of it still is.

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2 responses to “On 92nd and 2nd

  1. Well, that's something. Didn't you say Mars and Venus are in Taurus today… Maybe?

  2. Azulada – True, they were, unfortunately he really was not my type.

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