Sex thoughts

I read this in Distracted’s blog this morning:

“How many times have you had sex in one day?” he asked.



“Wait. Did you mean how many people in one day or how many times with the same person?”

“NICE!” he declared with a high five.

It’s part of a bigger post which you might want to read entirely, for context, and also because this girl has a true gift for writing. But the style was not what concerned me, it was more so the content, or better yet what the content spurred for me and what it made me think.

The first thing I thought of was “How did we get to this and why?” You remember before, when sex was a bit of a taboo and somewhat precious? I do. And way before my time, when sex was something you had with just a few people, if not only one? I don’t remember that, but I have seen it and heard about it, and I guess fantasized about that time a bit.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m no prude. I love and enjoy sex as much as the next person. I’m a scorpio, for pete’s sake, sex drives me. But, there’s something about it being sacred, about it being saved to be shared with someone special that allures me. I’m not suggesting we go back to the 1800s and be all pure and cast, if that was even the case then, but I can dream of it, and wonder where would we be if we considered sex more sacred than we do now.

The mere fact that a boy, a man, would ask a women something like this, openly, and have it be ok, just rubbed me the wrong way. I don’t know, it might be the whole online dating, no boundaries, tasteless emails I’ve been getting lately, but I miss the romance, the decorum, the subtleness of it all. Or, as a friend of mine used to say, I might just belong to a different era, I might just have been born after my time.


7 responses to “Sex thoughts

  1. I do agree with you on this point regarding sex. It is just the culture by which the United States currently lives under. We are a country that is considered "sexually frustrated." This can be explained based on the rise of children born out of wedlock, HIV/AIDS, and the Porn industry. The bluntness of how sex is discusses is as simple as its environment. There are other places in the United States where this type of talk is not discussed and for the most part, they like it that way. I believe in highly populated cities such as New York City and Los Angeles, this type of talk will get spinned all the time. I hope I had made a lot of sense out of this biggest issue. I, like you do as well, enjoy sex a lot and want the good out of it, but with a growing frustration that I see come out of it, it makes it very difficult. I have studied and have my BA in Psychology to attest thorough research into this very same phenomeon. Excellent post.

  2. I don't think you belong to a different era. I think there's a VERY WIDE range of acceptable behavior in this era. I know more people who would have walked away from that conversation than not. Including, btw, myself (Probably. If I'd had a couple of drinks and thought the guy was very cute I might have waited to see how it played out.) Most women I know would think a question like that was completely out of bounds, maybe cursed him out, and walked away.As to tasteless online dating communications? I am very overt with my sexuality, but I never have issues with that. Guys test the waters to see if I'm willing to flirt/tease online and I'm not. I'm not interested in an online romance. I just want to figure out who I might want to meet and meet them. Lots of guys just get off on the online sexual innuendos. Not my thing – and I let guys know it.

  3. So, there are two reactions I have to this. The first is my personal experience. In which who I have sex with and how often and where and with how many people is my business and my business only. I don't talk about it with friends. And I certainly don't talk about it with men. But, that's my choice. I choose to be a private person when it comes to that.The other side of me feels like Americans, in particular (though, I know you are not from here) are entirely too prudish about sex. And I think we, as a country, could lighten up a bit about it. Related to that, we are particularly prudish as it relates to women and sex. It's ok for men to follow their sexual desires and talk about it, but not women? No way. I think Distracted Spunk has a way of addressing her sexuality in an open, honest way.

  4. I wish it were simpler.

  5. I haven't read the other comments here so forgive me if I'm sounding redundant, but it's my belief that sex is natural, it's instinct. I don't think it was ever meant to be 'sacred' and we as a country are sexually anorexic, it's so sad. We need to be as progressive to nudity and sexual freedom as Europe.

  6. I agree with some of what you said. It's as if people these days choose to be vulgar for the sake of their own spotlight, and in the meantime the vulgarity itself becomes toothless. But that is America I suppose.

  7. I found your post interesting. I have to say that I just think it depends on the person. And a lot of that (how a person thinks) does come from how you were brought up and what your particular society thinks about it. I think I spent the earlier part of my life being a bit of a prude, it was this big thing to me, and I made a big deal out of it, and didn't really enjoy it. Then suddenly I got what it was all about, the last few years I just like to enjoy it – sometimes I'll meet someone and that'll be that, sometimes I want to wait, and sometimes I don't wanna at all. And of course when I meet the right person, I just wanna with him, and no one else. Just go with how you, personally, feel and don't think about it too much 🙂

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