I’ve been feeling ugh lately and it’s throwing off, not only my game, but my sleep as well. Today I woke up at 3 am. Yeah, my bedroom lap went on unrequested again, but then I couldn’t go back sleep because of all the thoughts roaming around my head. I used to be able to sleep like a rock. Now, not so much. I sometimes watch Nick and Soph sleep and feel nostalgic. I used to sleep like that, not a care in the world. But somehow life happened and that’s just not the case anymore.
I am utterly unmotivated these days and quite bored with the whole situation of my day-to-day life. I know, I know, I can just hear you now: “Oh yeah, poor little you. People are dying right this minute from hunger, pain, injustice and plain malice. Get some perspective girl!” I know this, I do. In the grander scheme of things I have nothing to complain about and should frankly be ashamed of not being content with my life right now, especially because it is mainly a result of the decisions I’ve made with the choices I’ve had. And that’s good and fine for the conscious level. But unconsciously? I can’t sleep at night.
I don’t want to vent here. For some reason this whole lack of motivation has me on the reserved, retracted side. I have talked about it with friends and it has helped (thanks guys), but I don’t feel like going on and on writing about. It has to do with my professional life, and that’s not the focus of this blog anyway. So when it’s time to bitch/share/praise (might happen, you never know) about men again, don’t you worry, you will be the first to know. For now I’m busy trying to get myself out of this funk and back to data analysis, because those three remaining chapters are not going to write themselves, unfortunately.