What happen to happily ever after?

So what did happen to happily ever after? I’ve been noticing lately how recently begun relationships around me have started to go down hill and eventually just disappear quite quickly. Most last a few weeks, the lucky ones last months, but all of them seem to end one way or the other. One hasn’t even gotten over the joy of a great start, the stomach butterflies of seeing the person again, and the whole world of possibilities, when wham, it’s over.

I remember, once upon a time, when one fell hard and fast for someone and it lasted. The feelings lasted, the relationship lasted, it grew, it changed, it developed, but it didn’t end. What is going on now? Is it the immediatism of our society today? The commodities of technology and the disposability of things in general that have crossed over to our love lives as well? Is it a lack of commitment or a taking people for granted, or just thinking that there’s so many people around why stick to just one? Have we become this careless and irresponsible towards others? Do we just don’t care anymore? When did this happen? Why?

Sure I know my share of well established relationships. Couples who have been together for years. Couples who you see together and immediately think they belong together and were somehow meant to be. But those are relationships that were birthed in another era. That was pretechnological boom, before we had email, before blogs, or FB or twitter. They were set before all this craziness. But what is happening now? Who or what stole the ever lasting love? Where did it go? I want to know, don’t you?

10 responses to “What happen to happily ever after?

  1. I always said the biggest downfall to living is a big city is you never have to settle down. I guess it’s not a downfall for those who don’t want it. But, for those who want it all – living in a big city and a long-lasting relationship … well, I’ve personally seen and experienced the difficulties associated with a culture that doesn’t breed settlers. Having said that, after living in a big city for over a decade, I finally did meet the guy I wanted to settle down with. It can happen, it just happens later.

  2. Nilsa – so you think there’s still hope and it’s a matter of time? Or maybe I need to move? ; )

  3. I have seen my fair share of this lately too. I do think it’s partly due to the fast paced nature of our society and the very me first, gimme gimme behaviors. I want to believe in happily ever after and goshdarnit I am going after it!

  4. Sizzle – I agree, I think we have developed into a self centered and selfish society, unfortunately love doesn’t grow in that kind of environment. But you’re right, we need to go for it, we have to! Here’s to us, the go-getters! ; )

  5. I often see the same thing, from people who love and hate the internet and its immediacy. It is possible to beat the odds, though: I’m all about the ‘net and its instant gratification, and it didn’t stop me from leaping into my relationship with my boyfriend…or staying with him for the past four years!

  6. Hmmm… I wonder if my relationship counts as part of the pretechnical boom? I’ll have been married 14 years in September, but I was into the tech stuff before I met him. For us, it was instant. We met, started dating that night, engaged about 6 weeks from when we met, and married 14 months to the day we met. He’s my best friend, and we’re more in love now than when we said “I Do”.But that being said? I have no married friends left from the same era. They’re all divorced. They flit through relationships wondering why they can’t find that person to spend forever with. But at the same time, their version of forever doesn’t allow for a lot of give in the other person. I don’t think it’s necessarily the technology and fast pace, as it is the amount of self-centered expectations people have. No one seems to compromise anymore. And more and more, I hear about people willing to do less to make someone else happy. It’s supposed to be give AND take, but somehow that got lost with the people I know.Just my little skewed perspective from marriage-land.

  7. Hmmm good question. I’m not sure I believe in happily ever after any more (although it’s nice to read about the above lady that it can still happen). Maybe there are just people who believe in it so it works because they find someone else who believes in it, and those of us who don’t, so we are always looking for it and never quite satisfied. Saying that, I do believe in ‘Mr the next ten years of my life,’ but I’m darned if I can find anyone near stepping up to that mark. Friends tell me it’s because I’m fussy and won’t settle, but then I think that I’m a pretty special person who won’t be satisfied very long with second best – I don’t know which is right and which is wrong. What’s wrong with wanting someone who really is your life (or ten year partner) and knowing also when the person you’re with is not that person. I love cities but I agree that they can be exhausting places where there is so much else going on and other people around it does breed this culture of ‘always looking’. As for technology – I love it, but I honestly believe that technology has killed actually speaking to someone. Men (and some women) think why bother calling when I can text, email, facebook. Well I hate to say it but it’s so much nicer to hear someone’s voice and feel their emotions when they’re talking to you than trying to second guess a quick text you get late one night…wow that was a long comment!

  8. If I didn’t belive that happily ever after was truly out there, I would have stayed drunk.And died.So there.I believe in it.Still.

  9. I’m weirded out when I meet people a decade or two older than me and they’ve been with their SO’s for 50-60 years or something crazy like that. There is NO ONE my age that I know has been with the same person for even half that time.Is it a generational thing do you think????

  10. Good question. Think you’ve hit the nail on the head about cities. Shocks me the regularity with which people upgrade their phones.Surely though there are still plent of people who value continuity and lasting relationships. I’m always proud of the friendships that have lasted for five, ten and twenty years – small in number though they maybe.Not the same for men though – they have a much shorter shelf life unfortunately!

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