Dodging the bullet

A little reluctantly I went out with the sweet guy from the other night again last night. My first reaction when I saw him was “I don’t think I’m attracted to this guy”. I had said before we hadn’t kiss the first time we met and it’s because I’m taking things slow this time around and don’t want to get myself into things that I might then regret, but mostly it was because I wasn’t feeling it.

He comes over to pick me up at my place again (he IS a total sweetie) and we are off to the same place we had been to last Friday. He seemed to have liked it and is now hooked on it. We had nice conversations, good drinks and very yummy food. At some point during dinner I look at him and think “OK, this is not so bad”, but as the night went on I knew I was fooling myself. I didn’t for the life of me want to kiss this guy.

The next thing I know he gets up to go to the bathroom and I am talking to myself “OK, here we go again. I’m in trouble! I’ve been out with this guy twice and I have to pull the plug now. What am I going to say? … Something along the lines of ‘You’re a great guy, sweet, honest, just great, but you’re not my guy’ Yeah, I think that will work, it doesn’t sound so bad and it’s absolutely true”.

He comes back from the restroom and we take off. While outside he says we should go by the church and I agree. You see, he lives in front of this Episcopalian church which is absolutely beautiful, which I go by every now and then and have never actually been to. Not sure why he suggested it because it was obviously closed at 9 pm, but we went any way. While there walking, talking, freezing our booties off, he, out of no where, leans over to kiss me. I having had only one margarita (thank God for that), still had my coordination in peak form and dodged it like a pro. He didn’t seemed to mind as we continued talking, laughing and freezing on our walk back to my building. Once there, he walked me in and we said our good byes. I gave him a kiss on cheek and went up.

Now the hard part begins. I have to tell him. I can’t possibly date a guy whom I’m dodging kisses from, we are not 12, now are we? It then dawn on me that he might just know. I mean I obviously got out of the way of that kiss, and that has to mean something, right? Well, I’m not so sure. He texted later on and sent me an email with an article about some stuff we had been talking about. I think I’m going to need to spell it out: “You are a total sweetie and I could love you for that. But you are just not MY sweetie.”

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13 responses to “Dodging the bullet

  1. I’ve always found honesty is the best bet. Tell him in person, on the phone or in an email – whatever makes you feel most comfortable, but tell him!

  2. SoMi’s Nilsa – yeah me too, even if the other person doesn’t take it as well, at least one is left feeling ok because one told the truth. I think I will email, because I don’t want to make another date and have him expect something else from it.

  3. Well, you’re getting better and faster at dumping them, I’ll give you that…

  4. Just tell him the truth. It’s better that way especially karma wise.

  5. It’s out of respect that you tell him the truth. It’s better to be honest than to disappear or make something up. Be true to your own heart and it will show you the way.

  6. Lo que no te vibra, no te vibra, ya está jen, no le des más vueltas, si no lo puedes besar, lo que sigue ni hablamos !!!

  7. buffalodick – I don’t think that’s anything good to be getting better at, don’t you?Mike – so true, karma and conscious wise.Sizzle – No worries I will tell him tonight. I will not be that person who just walks away with no explanation. Pillo – exacto!

  8. Ugh, these things are hard. It makes me have a *little* more understanding for why someone might disappear. But that’s for the gutless, which is not your deal.I hope it’s quick and as painless as possible, though.

  9. Yeah glad you just won’t let it fizzle, have had that happen too many times to me and no matter how hard it is to hear, it’s always better to get that ‘thanks, but not for me’ closure on things so you’re not left wondering if it’s something YOU did. Good luck, and shame for the sweetie – maybe he was just too much of a sweetie??

  10. justrun – True, only the gutless disappear, and that truly is not my deal. I emailed him yesterday. Haven’t heard back from him. I hope he took it well. the sarjent – yeah, it’s always best to get some sort of closure. You know I think it more a matter of chemistry (or lack thereof) than anything else.

  11. Well, I have to work on actually getting the DATES first. Hrmph. My profile sucks and I don’t know what to do with it.

  12. Jen- Someday I hope you listen to a song by Jackson Browne-“Shape Of A Heart”… It may explain what I found out about love.

  13. Kate – Well, I’m not sure of how much help I will be, but I can help if you would like.Buffalodick – I bought the song in iTunes… you have a point.

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