I had a first date the other night and to my surprise it went well. Not because I was attracted to the guy, because I’m not. But because I had fun. The conversation was great, easy flowing, funny and I laughed a lot. I think it has been a while since I had laughed a lot. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I smile a LOT. It seems like I’m always smiling. I smile when I’m happy, I smile when I’m sad to make myself happy, I smile when ridiculous things happen and I smile because ultimately it’s better than a frown, and because it’s contagious and when I smile, others smile too and I like that. But laugh, really laugh, I don’t know that I do that that often, and that night I did, and I liked it.
The thing is, this is not the guy. I know, I knew even before seeing him in person. Not only because he lives far away, or is divorced, or has a 12 year old son. But because I’m not attracted to him. There’s no chemistry. Once I met him, I found out that he’s smart, he’s funny, he’s very easy to talk to and easy going. All things I like very much. He’s not bad looking at all, he’s just not my type, if it is that I have one. It just didn’t click.
The next day he emailed. He wants to go out for dinner next week. I haven’t responded. I’m thinking of what I will say. My first reaction is sure, why not. But that’s always my first reaction. If it was fun and pleasant the first time, then why not give it a shot. I’m all for gicing people the benefit of the doubt. But if I know that there is no chemistry, if I know it won’t progress, then why lead him on? It’s not nice.
I just watched “Nights in Rodanthe“. Have you seen this movie? If you haven’t prepare to cry, because, believe me, you will. At least I did. “There’s a different kind of love, the kind that makes you want to be a better person… You need to hold off for that and know that you deserve it.”
I now know what my answer to that email will be. I know it’s only dinner, but I just can’t do it.