Do you have a difficult bucket?

I’ve been sharing my room with my sister, since we have a full house at my parents at the moment, and last night we got to talking about life and how is it that it actually works, or so we speculated. You see my sister and I are very different, yet very similar in a sense deeper than the physical one, where it’s obvious we come from the same gene pool. We both seem to have an Achiles’ heel, something we struggle with and where we find our most challenging learning experiences, for her it’s her job/professional life and for me it’s men/romantic relationships. It’s interesting actually to look back and see how these particular buckets of our lives are the ones we work really hard at and within which things just don’t come easy for us.

I have this theory that our life has many buckets which need to be filled, for me these are: family/friends, romantic relationships, work/profession, spirituality, physical/health, emotional wellbeing and sexuality. Some of them overlap, and sometimes it is very difficult to do well in one bucket when doing bad in another, but I try, I try hard to balance them out. Inspite of all my trying, for someone unknown reason, my romantic relationships bucket seems to always be the one giving more to do. It’s like it has a hole, a crack, a leak somewhere very difficult to identify.


My sister has, for as a long as I can remember, been in disonance with her job, her boss, her coworkers, or just something or someone (it’s usually a person) related to her job. I on the other hand can’t seem to stop talking, not to mention thinking, about the man in my life and how to “fix” the current situation. It’s like we have this monotopic conversation which overloads us and the people around us. We sometimes just laugh at ourselves and continue, listening to each other or talking and explaining ourselves out load to see if any of it makes sense to us or to the other. We’ve sort of figure out some parallelisms we both can learn from, even if they are taking place in different buckets for each other.

So last night we were talking about her job and I asked her “I think we’re doing something wrong. It can’t be this hard, can it?” She said ”I think it is this hard. I mean, I don’t think I’m a particularly dumb person.” While I responded “Well, I don’t either, but I think we’re missing something, it has to be easier than this.” And as usual, we were left to ponder because the answers are never handed to us.

What do you think? Do you have all your buckets in order? Have you found it hard or easy? How do you think it works?

10 responses to “Do you have a difficult bucket?

  1. Jen–I have often wondered the same thing…not with that wonderful insight of the buckets… but why do my personal relationships thrive when I have problems with my professional relationships? Why does life florish when my business does not? I think it is a matter of balance. When I give more love to one situation to make it better, then I over correct and loose focus in another place. Can it be this hard? Yes. But then, is struggle not important to the appreciation of success? If you found the right person on the first try…would you appreciate the incredible gift of having someone in your life can be? Sorry…too many more questions. ~~Dee

  2. Dee – the first thing I thought when I saw you left a comment was “I forgot my sexual bucket!” ; ) so I included it. I think you’re right, things that come easy to us, are usually taken for granted. Men and romantic relationships have been on my mind and been an incomplete bucket more so now than they ever were in my teens and early twenties where I had a steady boyfriend and things were easy. I guess we just need to take the good with the bad and keep on trying. Right?

  3. I think life in general is messy and confusing and much of it doesn’t fit into neat little buckets but that’s what makes it so interesting, isn’t it?

  4. More things are intertwined than we wish them to be. Our nice, leak proof buckets are the tasks/events we enjoy. Our dented, cracked buckets are the ones we try to fill, but never quite manage it…

  5. It’s only hard when I’m not working on myself and life. Other than that it seems to move pretty smoothly. May not be at the pace I like, but it does move.

  6. I think we can make things more difficult than they need to be. There’s a point where we just have to put the damn bucket down. Maybe not carrying it for a spell will help us see things differently?At least, that’s what I hope because it really shouldn’t be THIS hard. It shouldn’t.

  7. I think I’m going to agree with sizzle on this one, sometimes you just need to put those buckets down. Has it ever ocurred to you that they can get pretty HEAVY? When they do, it means you need to pour their contents into SOMEONE ELSE’S buckets. Spread that shit around girl, nobody can carry full buckets around for too long.Or, you can always do what I do. I fill them bitches up with wine. If I have to carry something, it might as well be something fun.

  8. Well you’ve definately given me somthing to ponder today, because I’ve never really thought much about it before. For me, life is a day to day thing and I tend not to over-think things. They just are what they are…

  9. weekends off – You know I might be the one who needs to ponder your approach to life and just take things for what they are. Sometimes life is not as complicated, right?

  10. There are always ups and downs, show me a person completely happy and I’ll show you the moon. If someone has the almost perfect relationship they will be unhappy somewhere else – it’s just the way it goes. At the moment am finding all my buckets are a bit leaky…but am looking forward to refilling them with port and lemon and chocolate at christmas,and then seeing what the new year brings.

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