I’ve probably been thinking too much lately because it’s starting to show in my sleeping patterns. It’s now been three days is a row that I wake up at early morning hours stiff with fear because of the nightmares I’m having. The dreams vary from discovering child molesters in schools, to spitting out my molars and repulsed at the fact that I’m just losing my teeth, to guys chasing after me and finding myself in no end rooms with doors which either don’t fit into the door frame or who’s locks don’t quite work. I wake up paralyzed, not really distinguishing between the dream and reality, thinking it’s still going on while I’m awake, and thus not wanting to even move a millimeter just in case the bad guy is still around. And then of course, even though I realize it was just a dream, I can’t fall back to sleep. Tossing and turning seems to be the thing to do at nights these days. The waking hours have been quite nice lately, so I really don’t know where these dreams are coming from.
Memorial day weekend, for example, was spent at a barbecue with nice friends, good food, and great conversation. My niece sleeping over and a following day of swimming in the pool, the park and a family picnic in Central Park.
Then this past week was filled with good stuff too. Thursday afternoon was Nick’s dance performance at school and I was glad I could make it. He was happy with his dancing part and I was so very proud of him.
Then it was off to see the Indiana Jones movie with cute, nice guy (date number 3) which turned out to be both a good movie and a good date. Friday, I met a friend I hadn’t seen for a while for happy hour. Two delicious mojitos were had at Habana Central accompanied with great updating conversation (you could write a novel out of his dating life). Saturday, was run-errands day, exercise and a dinner date at Yuka. This was with another cute, nice guy (can you tell I’m not exclusive with anyone yet?). The food was excellent, fresh and very yummy. Sunday, I finally went back to mass after months of being MIA, then the supermarket and lunch-making at home. I managed to have quite a good nap, strange dreams involved, but thank God no nightmares.
So you see, I don’t quite get it. What am I so worried about on the unconsciousness level that I have to vent while I sleep? Am I worried about finances (or lack there of) and come fall not having enough income? Am I worried about the yet more bureaucratic @#$% I need to go through to get my proposal approved at every level? Am I worried about my research site no being yet settled? You bet! I’m concerned about all of these. But what’s with all the chasing and the fear of not being able to get away? The loosing teeth and the child molester? Strange, I tell you, these dreams are very strange. There must be something there, hidden somewhere, which I still don’t quite understand. Awake life seems good though, maybe I just have to sleep less.