My boss invited us, her 3 research assistants, to her daughter’s wedding in June. We agreed to rent a car and go together and make it an outing, since it will take place in Philadelphia. At one of our meetings last week we told her we were attending, and she was thrilled. Apparently we are like her family here, since we are the ones who work so closely with her day in and day out, and in her words “put up with her” (she really has been driving us, or at least me, mad this past week).
Anyhow, one of us is married and said she might bring her husband along, if he didn’t have to work. The rest of us are single and we made a joke of being each other’s plus one for the day. My boss’ immediate reaction was to look straight at me and say “I just can’t believe someone as beautiful as you would …” and stopped in her tracks. I finished her sentence “still be single?”. She said, looking very pensive, “I guess you must have very high standards”. I said “yes, that most certainly is the case, but no worries this status is temporary” and we carried on with our meeting.
I truly believe this is temporary. I mean, singlehood will last until I find the right guy for me. You see, when people ask me “why are you still single?” I don’t think it’s because “I’m not what boys want” (as NGE to be Julia put it today), but more like “boys don’t seem to be what I want”.
Don’t get me wrong, I have self-doubts, insecurities and body issues as well rooted as the next girl, but I don’t go around pretending to be happy, satisfied and independent. I truly am. I am proud of what I have accomplished in life and who I am, I know I am worthy and I sure as hell won’t let just any guy take advantage of me or what I have to offer.
In Spanish we say “mejor solo que mal acompañado”, in English my motto is “never settle”. I want to fall in love, want to get married and have a family, I want to share my life with a man. But this has to be a worthy man, a man who wants the same as I do and is willing to put into building a relationship with me as much as I will, a man who will not only respect and love me, but who deserves my respect and love in return.
I will not settle and neither should anyone. If there was one thing I could do for the majority of women I know is boost their self-esteem. I agree with Dee, it is only when we learn to love ourselves when we can truly love others and have healthy relationships. Being in a relationship with the wrong guy, one who doesn’t respect and appreciate you for who you are, is a thousand times worse than being on your own. So until I find the right guy, hooray for being single!