I’ve been a little down lately. Ever since the defense something was cut loose, some sort of sadness, restlessness, and just plain discomfort, which truly had me in an odd mood oscillating between grouchiness – just plain mad at the world and numb – utterly unmotivated.
I did celebrate my proposal defense though. I thought it was only right to drink and cheer to something that had taken over a year to accomplish. So last Thursday I invited some friends over.
It was fun and it did help me lift my spirits, but the following day discomfort hit me hard. After spending the entire day at home in my pjs, talking to loved ones on the phone, and sorting out what was actually bothering me, I realized I really needed to make a turn for the bright side.
At night I felt better, things kind of settled and I made a to-do list for the following day and organized what I needed to do work wise. Today I woke up motivated and ready to go. I worked all morning and got a lot of things done, which I could not even think of tackling yesterday.
I also gave myself a treat and walked over to the East River. I walked through the park and the boardwalk, until I found a perfect bench to sit on and contemplate life from. I connected with the water, the sun, the beautiful sky, and felt a thousand times better. More hopeful and happy. I came back home recharged and content. Things will be ok. I can do this. It will be over soon enough and there is light at the end of this tunnel. I will make it, I just need to walk over to that river more often, and if the sun keeps on shinning that would help too ; )