Do we love the same in different languages?

I’ve noticed several things that I’ve been truly missing lately, and not quite getting out of the relationships I’ve had with American/German men (which is all I’ve dated for the past 3.5 years).

– Terms of endearment in Spanish (mi amor, cielo, corazon, cari~o, mi vida).

– Constant caressing and not being able to not touch in some way or form the loved one near you.

– Physical affection. Hugs, kisses, hand holding, just for the sake of it, with no sexual goal behind it.

– Eye gazing, seeing someone’s soul with no words being said, to not interrupt, but also because there seem to not be any words to explain this feeling of awe.

I’m starting to realize that the way I experience and express love (in all it’s facets) in English is not the same as I do in Spanish. What do you think? Have you found this to be true?

17 responses to “Do we love the same in different languages?

  1. i’ve found that spanish/latino men are much more sensual and open than american men. so yes, i agree! maybe im living in the wrong country…

  2. bex – you know I’m starting to believe that too… although 100% Venezuelan men don’t fit well with me either… they need to speak English and have to had lived at some point in another country… I hope that’s not impossible to find.

  3. Different ethinical backgrounds have different flavors to them. I’ve found Hispanic women to be more sensual and carefree, but lacing the nuts and bolts of relationships. Slavic women to be very rigid or check list oriented. They have goals and if your on the list great if not oh well.English women tend to be non-sensual.I learned a lot from each of them about life since it was different from my own. Learn and it allows you to move up the ladder to something different.

  4. Ouch! Que dificil definir lo que es lindo de cada uno…..Los latinos me gustan, aunque creo son medios machos y pendejos…..Los Europeos son frios pero honestos…..Mmmm no se cual es mejor….Un beso Jen!

  5. Dice un estudio de lingüística aplicada que las personas cambian de personalidad cuando hablan en otro idioma que no sea el materno. Yo creo que es cuestión de emociones y sentimientos, eso siempre es difícil, pero si se puede amar con la misma intensidad en diferentes idiomas.

  6. mike and nunu – I agree cultural backgrounds influence the way people behave, but ultimately I don’t think it’s a matter of better or worse. For me it’s more a matter of what fits best with us… I haven’t quite found that yet. mond – I agree, we don’t seem to be the same person while speaking in different languages… at least I don’t feel exactly the same. I do think people in general can love with the same intensity in different languages, the question for me is, can the same person love as intensively in a culture/language which is not what identifies them?

  7. It may also have to do with geographics within the US itself. I wonder how people in Alaska are?PS you will find what you are looking for!

  8. jarod – I wonder that too… hmmm maybe I need to take a trip over to Alaska. Thanks! I hope that’s not a fortune cookie statement, but more so a prediction of the “real” future ; )

  9. Como dice mi esposito: chivo con chivo, hormiga con hormiga… jejeje!But that’s not impossible to find.Y… no olvidemos que… No hay hombre completo en esta tierra, el que tiene todas esas cosas buenas que adoramos tiene sus otras malas por alla, y asi diran ellos de nosotras… jajaja!Tenemos que quererlos como son e irles enseñando poco a poco lo que nos gusta.Un abrazo Jen!:)

  10. Perfectamente se de lo que hablas, he salido tanto con gringos como con Alemanes y tienen una manera muy extraña de rleacionarse, no soportan las muestras de afecto en publico ni se dicen cosas cursis ni nada, todo en privado solamente…y eso para mi era un dolor!!

  11. clau – “chivo con chivo y hormiga con hormiga”, me encanta! Es verdad hay cosas que se cambian y se aprenden, pero otras son casi imposibles tanto por personalidad como por diferencias culturales. pillo – la verdad es que yo soy bien “sobona” y cari~osa, y necesito demonstraciones de afecto y cari~o constantes… tengo que encontrarme a alguien a quien eso no le moleste. Y ya veras como tu te consigues a tu “best fit” tambien!

  12. While I think that each person is different, I agree with you. I’ve found that Latin men are more attention-driven, cariñosos, etc. I, for one, have started to think that I cannot date -much less marry- outside my culture. I also feel like you do. 100% Mexican men don’t cut it for me. I need a guy who’s traveled, who knows another language, who knows that I’m a 21st Century woman: I will care for him, as I am a nurturing girl, but I won’t do the “te trato como tu empleada y tu mamá” thing. I want a co-op.

  13. everything just sounds a million times better and more romantic in another language! english is so….full of boring gerunds. haha.

  14. Me olvidé decirte… Que no eres la única con lo de los gringos y alemanes.. Igual que Pillo… yo he salido con los mismos… Y son bien fríos. El Europeo (que era francés)era como un término medio, pero igual bien “detached”, había días que se la pasaba sin llamar y le parecía lo más normal!

  15. I can’t say.. I only speak/think/know one language… so all I know is the one way. 😉

  16. I still believe in the individual- anyone from anywhere can be romantic or loving- depending on the person they want to be with..

  17. not so little woman – oh, I agree with you about the treatment. Machismos is so pase! And yes, “detached” is not my thing either!pinknest – : )pinkpiddupaws – lucky you don’t have this duality. I sometimes feel like two different people.buffalodickdy – I think that yes, we are capable of loving in any way we chose to, but it’s a dynamic and it depend on the other person we are with too. For me, I’m starting to realize, language and background culture make a big impact in how I express and feel love.

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