The Forest or the Trees?

Do we focus on the forest or the trees? Can we actually do both without going insane? I’ve been thinking about this lately. With my second person dying, my proposal defense has been postponed and my time line all screwed up. I’m trying hard to stay focus, to believe things happen for a reason, and even though right this minute I might not be able to “see” it, this occurring now might have a reason in the bigger scheme of things.

Last night I went out with my friend Ing, who is here visiting for a couple weeks. I was telling her about my plans, what my original intent was and how things have taken a turn lately. When I got home I received and email from a friend who wanted advice on defending her proposal. Hers is coming up the first week of Dec and she thought I had defended mine in Oct (which was my original plan). I got upset. Why can everyone except me defend this semester? 3 of my class mates (who have my sponsor as a sponsor or second person) have defender this year and 2 more friends, from different departments, defends the first couple weeks of Dec, but I keep on being pushed behind. This completely frustrates me, especially given the fact that I have worked my ass off this semester, and have spent all of Thanksgiving break cramped up home working on this.

As I told Ing last night, I truly believe things happen for a reason, and there must be something to learn from all this (e.g. things don’t necessarily happen according to plan, and I can’t control life). I think that even though I seem to be fixated on the trees, there just might be a reason this is occurring now that will affect the bigger picture. The forest just might be altered by this event right now, and later one, with time, I just might “see” it, and understand why.

This has happened to me before. I understand things way past the time they occurred, when things finally settle and I can see the larger plan. I just wish I could fast forward a bit and take a peak!


12 responses to “The Forest or the Trees?

  1. that sounds very frustrating. i’m sorry. i often want to peak but then i know it will be just like that Christmas when i found my parent’s stash of gifts. it ruined that holiday for me.

  2. I certainly understand your frustration, but I’d also venture to say that some focus on the bigger picture may be warranted here. Things don’t always happen on our timeline, and the best we can do is change our perspective and – in this case – use the extra time to our advantage.

  3. Nada es casualidad..todo es causalidad de algo…los mensajes siempre están ahí a la vista…

  4. oh this would drive me crazy. especailly because i love making plans. and it seems the more effort i put into plan-making, the more frustrating things turn out.

  5. “The best laid plans of mice and men”. I have, with great effort mind you, learned to be more patient. It shows confidence, not nervousness. It shows more thought is better than less thought. Put to good use, the time you wait can be productive to the accomplishment of the goal. It’s still hard to wait though, isn’t it? Hang in there!

  6. I’m with you Jen. Things DO happen for a reason…but what the reason is.. isn’t always clear. Darn it! But hey…we learn as we go, right.Hang in there.Big hugs!!

  7. I sympathise completely with how you’re feeling.Every time my “plan” for my life has been derailed, it’s made me all anxious and confused and resentful and self-doubting. And then, months or years later, I’ve realised why things *had* to happen that way, for everything else to work out. But like you said – I’ve always just wished someone would let me see the end of the story, so I could relax and enjoy the ride.But that’d take the adventure away really, wouldn’t it? So these days I just focus on trying to enjoy the ride regardless.

  8. I bet that is SO frustrating- probably because you were not only looking forward to defending but also to what comes after. I believe you are right, that things happen for a reason. And I hope that reason will be clear sooner than later.

  9. Good Wednesday morning to you, Jen !Hope it all works out – sounds like a school project I’m not quite up on –I’d love a peek ahead, to always be able to see both the forest and the trees with wisdom, simultaneously…Loving Annie

  10. Thank you all for your kind words, support and relatedness. It helps to know that others struggle with this too. Life is just a big mystery isn’t it? I wish I had that crystal ball sometimes, but others I realize, as Sizzle said, by knowing too much in advance we can very well ruin things. So, I’m hanging in there, what other option do I have? ; )

  11. I’m late to the commenting, but I just wanted to say that I understand how you feel. It’s frustrating. Then again, I commend you for trying to stay positive. I can’t say I’m like that all the time. If you need to talk, let me know!

  12. not so little woman – thank you, I try, not always possible, but I do try to stay positive.

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