The begining of my old self: I’m back!

I just came back from my first Karate class and it was great! I had been meaning to join them ever since I discovered they existed at Columbia, but for some reason or the other I never had the time or energy to go. Today I decided this was it, procrastination no more, and I hiked up to the main campus to go to class. I had done some karate before in Caracas. but I only had manage to go for about 6 months or so, and hadn’t gotten very far, this was over 4 years ago, so I was surprised I remembered the first Kata at all. It was truly awesome and invigorating, very empowering feeling to be able to defend yourself physically if the need be. I will be going back Monday nights after class, and Saturday mornings.

I walked back to East side, through Central Park, and stopped to buy my favorite green olive bread to dip in olive oil, which has been my main squeeze these days. It’s delicious and the rolls they sell at The Vinegar Factory are quite as good as the ones I get at the little Italian Bakery on 3rd Ave, so I can even alternate the bread I get and try different varieties!

Outside the bakery they sell flowers and couldn’t stop myself from buying two dozen roses that just jumped at me. And on my walk back home I couldn’t stop smiling, I suddenly realized I am incredibly happy. My dreadful job is over, finally, done with! I felt trapped in that job, like some kind of slave that HAD to do petty, menial, mind numbing tasks, day in and day out. I hadn’t realized how much this job was affecting my self-worth and self-esteem. I had to constantly look back and remind myself what I use to do for a living back home, to assure myself that I was indeed capable of much more than they were giving me credit for here. It was two years of dragging myself out of bed every single day to go do something I found absolutely useless. Sure, the people there were very nice, and they truly needed someone to do this job, but I had never done something I was so over qualified for for so long, and judging from how I felt doing it, I hope to God I don’t ever have to do it again.

I now feel as though I got my life back, my self-worth, my confidence in my self. It’s incredible what a bad job will do to a person. You see, academics and professionalism is what I’m good at, it’s were I thrive, and is what I am usually used to be recognized for. Not having that these past two years, or at least not in it’s grand, challenging and fulfilling way, has been very difficult for me, and it wasn’t until today, when it is no more, that I realized how happy I am to be back. This is why I am so excited about my new research job at AERI assessing a district wide program and training teachers to use the instruments we develop, even though it does pay less. And why I am so looking forward to the time I will be spending at the Columbia Secondary School working on a curriculum plan for it’s values and moral development curriculum and classes (this is part of the scholarship I won). I truly can’t wait!

So here I am contemplating my beautiful flowers. Aren’t they pretty?

Enjoying my olive bread.

And feeling happy and fulfilled again!