Time flies

January is over. Wow, now that happened fast, didn’t it? I don’t know how this is happening, but I heard somewhere, and I’m beginning to believe it too, that time has actually shorten. Yeah, an hour is not, apparently, 60 minutes long any more. How this happened, I don’t know. What I do know is that I feel it and live it every day. There’s just not enough time, it flies by too quickly.

February starts tomorrow. And with it a few milestones start pouring in. In February it will be 1.5 years since I moved from NY to Chicago. It will be 7 months since I adopted Max and my life completely changed to suit his needs above mine. And it will be one year since Mike and I met and started dating. It seems like a lot, right? Well, it all happened fast, very fast.

I can’t believe I’ve been here a year and half already and that Mike and I have been together for an entire year. But then again, a year seems like nothing these days (see comment above time somehow shrinking). It doesn’t feel like a year and half, or a year, or even seven months. And yet I feel settled in here, and I know that feeling takes time to develop, so I kinda do believe all that time has passed after all.

I’ve been meaning to do a recap, sort of a comparison of my life now to my life then, but I’ll leave that for another post. For now, let me ask you this question, how do you experience time these days? Is it not enough? Or is it the same as it has always been? Would you believe somehow (and I know I should explain this in more detail, but for the life of me I can’t remember the original source) time has shrunk?

What we’ve been up to

If you’ve been wondering what have we been up to lately on our weekends, I can sum it up for you in one word: eat! Take a look:

This was some weekends ago, at El Mariachi:

This was this weekend at Leona’s:

This was last night at Diva’s Sushi:

And this was today at Goose Island Brewer:

There were some visits to Rock’s, Five Guys, Portillo’s, takeout from Joy’s Rice and Noodles, Fox and Hounds, Jack’s on Halstead, and some brunch cooking at home. I even made cheesy risotto from left over rice, from rice and fish I cooked us for lunch last weekend. A lot of eating, I tell you.

It makes you wonder how my diet is going, doesn’t it? Well, not that great. I’ve lost a few pounds, but it seems as though I regain over the weekend whatever I lose during the week. Still, both Mike and I have been off fried carbs all through January, and ever since I started my diet there have been no desserts for me, no cupcakes, no ice cream, no sweets at all. I’m getting my sugar from fruits and the occasional little bit of chocolate to make up for the sugar craving I get after lunch. But that’s about it, a big difference from the amount of sugar and sweets I was having daily before.

But eating is not the only thing we’ve been doing, really. We went to see an improv act at a Comedy Club with friends, we’ve been trying to catch up on Oscar movies, and saw The Descendants last weekend, and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close today. We had already seen Midnight in Paris and The Help, but we still have a few movies on the ballot we want to see before the Oscars.

We also, of course, go for walks, tons of walks, even though it might be freezing (and it has been very cold some of these days). The dogs need to go out, so we take them and they enjoy it. We stay out as long as we possibly can, but when we begin to tremble and not be able to feel our fingers or toes, it’s time to head back home.

So that’s been us in January. How about you?

Moments of truth and decisions that make our lives

I’ve been trying to get my reader down to zero, ever since I got back from Miami the first week of January. But it wasn’t until today that I managed to finish reading all pending blog posts, and as I was strolling through, I bumped into this post by Wendy.

She explains that her friend calling up her (not known to her yet) soon to be long distance boyfriend, hubby and father of her adorable son Jackson, so that he could show her around during her visit to NYC, changed her life. One little phone call, completely change the course and ultimate result of her life. Where she is now, how she lives, what she does, and ultimately, why not, who she is, is because of this phone call. And then she asks if we can identify such a moment, the moment when our lives took a turn and lead us to a place we would not be in if that moment had never happened.

I thought about it, because it is quite an interesting question, and in fact it’s a question I’ve ponder before. Just last week I was telling Mike that I had been scanning back my life to see if there was any indication I would end up here in Chicago, in Illinois, and I really couldn’t find one. But when I read Wendy’s post, I realized there were two distinct instances that changed the course of my life, two decisions I made in regards to relationships, to boyfriends, that altered where I was and where I was going, and ultimate, I guess, contributed to me being here now, doing what I’m doing, and leading the life I have.

Decision one: I broke up a 5 year relationship with my college boyfriend. You see, Mark and I had met in high school, we were friends then, but as soon as my high school boyfriend and I broke up our 2 year relationship, Mark began courting me. He helped me through my broken heart and I eventually fell very much in love with him. Just two months after we had began dating his mom passed away from cancer, it was hard, we were just 21 and didn’t quite know each other all that well, but those tough times drew us together. My family practically adopted Mark and he became the boyfriend every one, even me I guess,  thought I would eventually marry. After two years together Mark moved from Caracas to Boston and finished college in BU, we had 2 more years together of long distance, which were not fun at all. When we both graduated college, I took a job teaching kindergarten in Caracas and he moved to Switzerland to work at a bank in Geneva. We talked, I wanted to arrange things to be together, the long distance was taking a toll on me, and I really wanted to find a way to at least live in the same country, even better, the same city.

I asked him what he wanted to do, where he saw himself going; he had different job opportunities in Europe and there was even one in Japan. I had my sights on graduate school, but I first I wanted to be with him, so I offered to put graduate school on hold until we figured where he would be living, I would then move there and apply to school close to him. His answer? “Don’t put your life on hold for me. Do what you want to do.” Ok then, I applied to graduate school, to the schools I wanted, regardless of where he was. He had promise to try to find a job and move to where ever I ended going. Well, I got into Columbia, they let me know around March, this was 1997, and as soon as I knew where I would be  moving to in the summer, I told him, so that he could start looking for jobs in NY and moving there, so that we could finally be together. That didn’t quite happen. Months passed and he seemed to have no intention of moving from Geneva, not to NY, or anywhere else. I waited until I couldn’t wait any more, and I asked: “When do you plan to move?” His answer? “I can’t move right now. I’m enjoying my independence too much and I just started to get good at this job and I feel like I have a commitment to this company, to my boss. I can’t quit and move to NY right now.” My answer? “And the commitment you have with me? You promised.”

I was livid, it had been 5 years, 3 of those long distance, and I had had it. I broke it off, I moved to NY and started a new chapter of my life afresh. I don’t know if it was NY, the newness of it all, or the fact that I really had had it with Mark and feeling like second best all the time, but when he finally did move to NY to be close to me, 2 years after we had broken up, I wanted nothing to do with him, even when he said he was still very much in love with me and he wanted to marry me. I looked him in the eye and was as honest (with him and myself) as I could be: “I’m sorry, I’m not in love with you any more, it’s just too late.” That day, in that taxi in a rainy NYC night, I reenforced the decision I had made back in the summer of 1997, I changed my destiny, I veered and took my life in a different direction.

Decision two: I had finished my maters and my 3 year stay in NYC, it was 2000, and I was reluctantly moving back to Venezuela. I didn’t want to go back, but I had to for visa reasons. I had a great job lined up though, and I had began a long distance relationship with a guy I had briefly dated in high school and had bumped into, serendipitously, the previous summer at a wedding. We started emailing and fell in love, and began a long distance relationship knowing I would move back to Caracas in the summer, so the long distance part only lasted 6 months (thank God!).

My first year back was rough. Going back to living at my parents again, working full-time as a professor, missing NYC terribly, and getting to know Antonio now as adults, was a bit much at times. But he helped me through it all and I fell in love with him as I hadn’t been in a long time. He was the first guy, I ever say myself potentially marrying some day. Unfortunately, even though I had moved back to Caracas and now Mark was in NY, and even though I had told him several times that us was never going to happen again, he insisted, and called, and sent flowers, and seemed to always be “there”. That caused friction with Antonio and eventually it drew a wedge between us so big, that somehow, he fell out of love with me.

I tried, I really tried to patch things up. I tried for 6 months, but he seemed to have made up his mind to pull away from me. So one afternoon as he was dropping me off at home from lunch, I asked: “Do you still love me?” (because to me it all came down to this). His answer? “I care about you a lot.” I looked at him and smiled and said “One cares a lot for a dog, not a girlfriend.” I opened the door, said goodbye, stepped out of the car, and walked away. I proceeded to cry nonstop for the next two months straight. I was utterly heart broken. But in December of 2001, roughly two months after we had broken up, when we got together to chat and see how we were doing, he mentioned he was thinking of us getting back together, and even though I was still very much in pain, I said no. I was not putting myself in the position of being the one who loved the most again, I had cried for two months straight but I was stronger now, and I was not going back.

Right then and there, I changed my fate again. After 3 more years of hard work, a TON of partying, and living in a rough political situation in Venezuela, I decided to go back to NY for a doctorate. I guess that was decision number three, because (and that part of the story you all now, since that’s about the time I started blogging) after moving to NY I never did go back to live in Venezuela.

But my point is, if I had not ended it with Mark or Antonio, if I had married either of them, my life would be so much different now. I would live either in NY or Caracas, would probably have kids, as in plural, might have never gotten my doctorate, and for sure would have never even been to Chicago, not even for a visit.

So when I think of those moments that changed the course of my life, I tend to think of those decisions, and the consequences of making them. Because of them I lived on my own for almost 6 years in NY (the second time around), I finished my doctorate and I took this amazing job at DePaul and moved to Chicago, I met Mike 6 months into my living here, I adopted Max, and I ultimately settled into a great life (albeit far away from my family and all my roots), which just tends to get better every day. And for all of that I’m very grateful, for every moment of truth and every decision I’ve made, which lead me here.

I’ve been meaning to write a post about Mike and all the things I love about him, and how having him in my life makes it so much better, but for now I just want to say, I’m glad of the decisions I’ve made in my life, I’m glad I am here now, even though I’m not sure if I was ever meant to be here, I am so very glad I am. Ultimately, I believe we end up having the lives we decide to have, we take the curves life throws us and we end up creating our destiny. Don’t you agree? Can you identify your moments of truths and your crucial, life changing, decisions? Would you have done anything differently? Are you grateful too?

Dream? Pregnant

Last night, I dreamt I was pregnant. I think it was the first time ever. Or maybe the second, I don’t remember. I was full blown pregnant and in the hospital with my mom, waiting to fully dilate to give birth. It seemed strange. I was having one kid and apparently there was another on the way, right after the first, as in twins? (!). Strange I tell you.

But it doesn’t surprise me at all. So many babies have been born in the past months. It’s like it’s in the air or something. I’ve gone to or sent gifts to, at least 5 baby showers. A lot right? So babies are on my mind, and in my day-to-day life right now.  But I don’t quite remember having them be in my dreams, at least not until recently.

I told Mike about my dream, and he said “First engaged and now pregnant?”. I had totally forgotten that I dreamt I was engaged the other day. Is there a pattern here? Maybe a theme? Beats me!

Snow

They said it would snow, and it definitely did. Last week we had our first big snow fall of the season. We had had some snow back in December, but nothing like this.

It started snowing Thursday morning. I headed out to yoga class and it was coming down, once I finished my class and walked back home, it had started to accumulate, but it wasn’t until night fall that you could really see how much snow had fell. These photos are from the DePaul LP campus, it’s my view from my office building to the parking garage building.

And then the following day it had really accumulated. This was my view when I stepped outside to walk Max.

It snowed! No kidding.

Charley’s Visit

Charley stayed with us last week. When I got back from Miami, Mike and the boys went to pick me up at the airport and I offered Mike, on the ride back home, to take a break from doggy duty and leave Charley with us for the rest of week. He reluctantly agreed, saying it was about time he dealt with his separation anxiety… cute So Charley was with Max and me from Tuesday to Friday.

Charley and Max are both terriers. Max is a Silky Terrier and Charley is a Cairn Terrier, like Toto from the Wizard of Oz. They are both small dogs, between 10 and 15 lbs each, they eat the same foods, they bathe at the same time, and when they’re together they do pretty much everything together. When one is interested in something, the other has to go up and see what all the commotion is about and share in the excitement.  They go for walks together, they eat together, and they get into trouble together too. In the six months since I adopted Max, him and Charley have become good buds.

They are also very different in many ways. Charley, being older (going on 8) is mellower than Max. They both love naps, so when they are indoors, they both seem pretty chilled out, but when we’re out you can tell there is a difference in the energy level. Max leads the way, he pulls, and sprints, and I really have to be on it, and keep up. Charley likes to sniff every-single-little-thing on the way, and stops, and pulls in the opposite direction, and walks slowly, sort of enjoying the scenery and taking it all in.

Maxy is a cuddler. He can’t lie next to you without touching you, or, if possible, laying all over you. Charley doesn’t like to be touched all that much, he’s very social, he’ll come up to you and let you pet him, but when he’s napping, he wants to be let alone. If you even move a bit close to him, he’ll growl, get up and move away.

Maxy likes to play, play rough, and play a lot. Charley plays with his toys but doesn’t really like the rough and tumble play with others. When things get too heated, rough, or loud, Charley starts barking, telling others to stop it already! He likes it quiet and tranquil.

They are different, but both special and sweet and loving in their own way. It reminds me of siblings, always in each others’ space and making sure the other one does not get more, or god forbid, anything they don’t.

On Friday Mike came over and spent the weekend out in the city with us. He said he had missed Charley a lot, and I bet he did. It’s just not the same getting home to no dog. I think Charley missed Mike too, although I do have to say he had a good time as a city dog, he seemed very relaxed and happy with us.

I’m missing Charley today… I wish he could come spend the night with us more often.

Being Thankful

I tweeted this the 31st of Dec, while I was reviewing the best of the year and wondering what the highlights were:

My family is always the best thing that happened to me, and this year I added Mike and Max #thanks2011

I then added Charley too, because how could I forget him, he’s such a cutie!

There are many thing to be thankful for: my job, my health, my life in general and all material things I have which make my life so much easier, but the icing on the cake, the very best part, is always the people in my life, and in that group my family always takes center stage.

Thank you. Thank you for loving me so, and letting me love you back.

Plan for the new year

Mike came up with the idea to drop potato chips during the month of January. Then he added all fried carbs, and told me that if I wanted to be supportive, I should do it with him too. I agreed and then added “why don’t give up something each month?” Brilliant, right? Yeah, not so much. But that’s the plan, to give up something, or add in something each month. And as Mike said, repeats are valid too. So up until now, this is what we have:

January: No fried carbs (e.g. potato chips, fries, fried chicken).

February: Mike-no hard liquor (i.e. Jack Daniels), Jen-no diet sodas (i.e. coke zero).

March: No red meat.

April: Choose and begin a new exercise class (e.g. zumba, boxing).

May: No carbs (all carbs).

… that’s what we have thus far. But I have decided to start a diet plan as of the 1st of January. I have gained a ton of weight and my anxious eating is getting out of control. So I am going back to cereal or yogurt for breakfast (no sugar cookies or doughnuts), a lean sandwich and fruit for lunch, and slices of turkey and crackers for dinner. No in-between, mid morning/afternoon snacks, and no junk food (candy, chips, ice cream, cupcakes, etc).

I’m going to do the monthly thing too, so that Mike feels supported, but I’m serious about my diet. My goal is to be bikini ready for my next birthday (October) or sooner, because this year is my 40th and I want to celebrate it at a beach wearing a bikini and rocking it! That’s the plan, now lets get on it!

Happy New Year!

Wishing all of you the absolutely very best for 2012. May it be filled with happiness, health, prosperity, success and tons of laughs. May this be the year all dreams come true!